


Run Away Home

by imamaryanne



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - All Media Types, Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2833574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamaryanne/pseuds/imamaryanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After suffering a break-up and losing his job, Jeff Schafer is lost and depressed. When his stepfather dies, he decides to pick up and head back to Stoneybrook to stay with his mother for a while and to get a fresh start. Jeff quickly finds his old childhood friends, and begins to fall for one of them. But one night of bad decisions on Jeff's part may mean that any hope for a new relationship quickly crumbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Babysitters_100.

Jeff Schafer woke up that morning, on the floor, after no more than four hours of fitful sleep. He looked woefully around his apartment, nearly everything in it had been either donated, thrown away, or already shipped to Connecticut. He'd slept on the floor, covered only in a blanket, his alarm clock on the floor next to him, along with a knapsack containing a change of clothes, a toothbrush and toothpaste, his wallet, a paperback novel, and his plane ticket. The room was otherwise empty.

Jeff heaved himself up off the floor and rubbed his neck, sore from the night away from his bed. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He splashed some water on his face, only to realize that he'd packed away his towels after last night's shower. "Great," he muttered to himself. He stood, waving his hands in front of his face to get it to air dry. The morning was already starting poorly.

After changing his clothes and packing the blanket and alarm clock into the knapsack, Jeff walked through the apartment one last time, opening cabinets and drawers to make sure nothing was being left behind. He ran his finger over the patched and painted portion of the bathroom door, hoping the Landlord wouldn't notice it and take money from his security deposit. God knows he needed that deposit back.

At the door, Jeff looked around. He'd spent what he considered the best four years of his life here. Five months ago, if you had told him it would soon all come crashing down, he'd have

thought you were crazy. Five months ago, if you had told him he'd be leaving his beloved home state and heading back to the town the he'd known well enough to get away from at ten years old, he'd have thought you were beyond crazy.

As much as getting dumped and losing a job within the same month depressed him, what really got to Jeff was that he felt he was running to mommy to patch him up. No matter how much he told himself that it was just as much for her, that she needed his help to navigate through recent widowhood, he knew the truth. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to form any type of new life for himself while he was still hanging around his old life. He sure didn't love Stoneybrook, but right now it represented the fresh start he so desperately needed.

Jeff locked the door behind him and walked to the manager's office, arriving at the same time as the community manager, who was just opening up for the day. The manager smiled at  him, "Leaving so soon?"

Jeff shrugged, "I have a plane to catch." He glanced out the window, "A cab is supposed to meet me here soon."

"OK then," the manager took the keys and opened a file, which was sitting on his desk. "Did you want to go with me on the walk through?"

"No, thanks."

"How about Mr. Warren?"

"What?"

"Your roommate. His name is still on the lease."

"Oh. No. He moved out three months ago. I gave you his key."

The manager looked down, nodding his head. "Right. Just so you know, the security deposit was half his. So he'll get half of what needs to be returned."

Jeff felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He needed that money and he knew damn well that Marcus didn't. "I paid the deposit," he pointed out. "I can show you the canceled check. It came from my account."

The manager looked sympathetic, "I'm sorry. You were co-signers of the lease. Legally, each of you gave half."

Jeff wanted to argue, but could think of nothing to say, and anyway a cab pulled up at that moment. So he just nodded.

The manager stuck out his hand and said “Good luck back east.”

"Thanks," Jeff said as he shook the manager’s hand. He should have added that he'd really liked living in the community for four years, but his throat closed around the words. Instead henodded, slung his backpack on his shoulder, and walked out.

He took a deep breath as he slid into the cab. "Orange County Airport,” he said to the driver. He refused to look back.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Jeff sighed as he looked at the back of the book. He wondered if anyone saw the irony in charging so much for a book on resume writing. Most people who needed the book couldscarcely afford to drop so much cash on it.

Jeff looked around guiltily. Stoneybrook's only book store was fairly small, but if he ducked down a little, he could probably flip through the book and get some hints and maybe save himself the money and avoid actually buying the book. He really needed to work on his resume. He'd only had one job since leaving college, and even that he'd gotten through his dad. So ten years in the workforce, and he'd never actually had a resume.

Jeff settled in with his back against the shelf and sighed again. He knew he could get this information online, but his mother had gotten rid of her internet connection after Richard died. She only used the internet at work, she said. Though he noted, that just spending the money on an internet connection would cost barely more than this monstrous book on resume writing.

Jeff started reading about how to design and format a resume, when he heard voices from the next aisle over.

A little kid's voice said, "This is what we should get mommy!"

Then a man's voice said, "Sophie, that isn't the type of book she wants."

"Yes," the little girl argued shrilly, "It's pink and it has a unicorn on it."

"That's because it's a book for children," the man explained. "You need to get mommy a gift that _she_ wants for her birthday. Not something you would want."

Jeff had to smile at that, he remembered clearly being six years old and telling his mother that his dad definitely wanted Spider-Man comics for his birthday. The kid and her father continued the conversation, Jeff no longer paying attention.

A few minutes went by, and he was interrupted by a small girl with fiery red hair darting down the aisle toward him. A man pushing a stroller quickly trying to chase her while not bumping the stroller around too much. "Sophie, get back here!"

Jeff reached out for Sophie's shoulder when she neared him and she stopped, surprised to see him sitting there. The man caught up, "Thanks," he said, looking down at Jeff.

Jeff looked up, the man looked familiar to him, the brown hair and blue eyes. "You're welcome," Jeff answered, still trying to figure out where he knew this man from. "I'm sorry,you look awfully familiar to me."

The man laughed, "I was just thinking the same thing. I'm Byron Pike.”

"Oh my God!" Jeff exclaimed. "Seriously? Byron, it's me. Jeff Schafer."

Byron laughed again, "Jeff Schafer. What the hell are you doing here?"

Sophie announced indignantly, "You said Hell!"

Jeff smiled, a true smile, for what felt like the first time in months. "I just moved back."

"Oh yeah? Did you come back to help your mom? I was really sorry to hear about your stepfather. Mallory and Mary Anne are still close friends, so we heard when he died."

"Yeah. I'm staying with my mom for now." He held up the book on resumes, "Just looking for a job in the area now."

Byron snorted. "Good luck. The market's shit right now. I've been out of work for six months."

Sophie gasped at Byron's use of the word shit, and look scandalized, but said nothing.

Jeff looked at Sophie and at the baby sleeping in the stroller. "So you're doing the dad thing while your wife works?"

Sophie giggled while Byron looked surprised. "Oh! No, I'm not married and Sophie and Henry aren't my kids. They're my niece and nephew, Mallory’s kids. I've been working as their, I guess Nanny is the term for it, since Mallory finished maternity leave." Byron pointed to the baby, who Jeff assumed was Henry, "He's five months old now, and I've been," Byron sighed, " _Nannying_ them for two months now."

"You're a Nanny?"

Byron blushed and shrugged. "It beats being unemployed. And I'm able to at least afford rent so I don't have to move back in with my parents." Byron suddenly realized that he may have insulted Jeff, "Hey, sorry. I didn't mean..."

Jeff shook his head. "It's OK. I know what you mean. It's not ideal, living with my mom. But she needs me right now, and I don't have anywhere to go. So."

"So, are you, like, living here now? Or do you plan on going back to California?"

Jeff sighed. "I'm living here. For a while anyway. Things went really poorly for me the last few months there and I needed to get away." Jeff shuffled his feet and looked embarrassed. "I'm really here just as much for me as I am for my mom," he admitted.

"The job?" Byron asked sympathetically.

Jeff bit the inside of his cheek. "That. And I just got out of a long relationship." He paused, choosing his words carefully, before saying bluntly, "I was dumped."

"Yikes. Did that happen before or after losing the job?"

Jeff smiled ruefully at that question. He often wondered if Marcus would have still left him if Jeff had lost his job earlier. Perhaps if Jeff had gotten laid off one month earlier, Marcus would have felt too guilty to leave. "It happened about a month before losing my job. Then Richard died a couple months later....and you know. It just seemed like time for a fresh start." Jeff shrugged "Or something."

At that moment, the baby in the stroller began to wake up and fuss, then Sophie began pulling on Byron's arm, "Uncle Byron, let's go look at the kids books!"

"Just a second, sweetie," Byron shook her off his arm and popped a pacifier into little Henry's mouth. "Listen," he said, redirecting his attention to Jeff. "I have a book on resume-writing at home," he nodded toward the book Jeff was still holding in his hands. "Why don't you swing by sometime and I'll lend it to you?"

"Oh. Thanks! Will you need it though?" 

Byron laughed, "Nah. My resume has been perfected. You know, except for the fact that it hasn't done a thing to help me get work."

Jeff smiled. "Yeah, cool."

Byron reached into the diaper bag hanging from the back of the stroller and found a pen and a coffee receipt. He wrote down an address in Stamford and handed it to Jeff. "Here. I get home usually around six, but I don't watch them," he pointed to the kids, "at all on Fridays or the weekends. "

It was Wednesday. "OK," Jeff nodded. "I'll swing by on Friday then? Before lunch?"

Byron smiled, appeared to be getting ready to say something before being interrupted by Sophie, whose patience was obviously wearing thin. "Let's goooo," she whined.

Jeff held up a hand, "See you Friday."

Byron nodded as he was dragged off, Sophie pulling one arm, the other trying to keep Henry's stroller from knocking over. "Friday," he called back.

Jeff replaced the wildly expensive book on the shelf and looked at the receipt in his hand. He smiled as he tucked the address into his wallet and walked out the store.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jeff was surprised that his mother was letting him use her car, while she used Richard's. He had assumed that when he moved in, he would be allowed to drive Richard's ancient Mercury until he had enough money for his own car. But Sharon insisted on letting Jeff drive the nearly-new Toyota Prius, while she used Richard's. Not that he was complaining.

Jeff had been thinking a lot about his mother. He'd been back in Stoneybrook for a week, and she had yet to have any meaningful conversation with him about why he was there. Obviously, she was still grieving; Jeff understood that. But when she picked him up from the airport, she acted as though he had come for one of his long weekend visits. When FedEx delivered all of his things two days after getting in, she barely glanced at the myriad boxes of belongings that sat in the hall all day while Jeff worked on getting his things settled.

She never asked about Marcus, about what led to their breakup. (Not that Jeff would have been able to give her many answers in that department. Marcus had left him in the dark about why he left.) She never asked about his lack of employment, his prospects, his anything.

Her scatter-brained personality seemed to take on a different quality. Before, she was always able to smile, a little ruefully, at her own flighty ways. Now, she didn't seem to care. She barely seemed to register that Jeff was there. Mary Anne had come over with her sons for dinner one day this week, and Sharon had barely been able to answers Mary Anne's questions. 

As Jeff drove to Stamford that Friday, he decided that when he got home that night, he would sit down with his mother. Ask her questions, tell her about his life, try to make her listen.

Jeff followed the GPS-given directions to Stamford to a small apartment community just off the highway. He pulled into the visitor space and walked up the half-flight of stairs to get to Byron's apartment. Jeff looked around. It was a very ordinary looking apartment community, not entirely unlike what he left behind in Palo. Three white, vinyl-sided buildings, three stories tall each, arranged in a U-shape. The center of the U was visible from Jeff's vantage point and he noticed a small community swimming pool, still closed for the season. In California, the pools never closed for the season.

Jeff knocked quietly on Byron's door. It took Byron a few seconds to answer the door. "Jeff, hi," he said smiling. He stood back, "Come on in."

Jeff walked in and looked around. He was a little surprised by what he saw. The furniture and decoration seemed a little....feminine. Byron had mentioned he wasn't married, but this apartment had obviously had a woman's touch. The blue sofa had a hideous ruffled skirt, picture frames were all in pink and purple, and, holy shit, was that a Georgia O'Keefe print on the wall?

"Do you live here alone?" Jeff asked, trying to sound neutral.

Byron laughed, "Uh. No," he said emphatically. He pointed to the O'Keefe print, "I would not choose a symbolic vagina as my art work." Jeff laughed at this as Byron continued, "I had to short-sale my condo after I lost my job. I'm living here for now with Claire. She had two bedrooms, and offered me the smaller one and is letting me get away with paying less than half the rent."

"Wow. Little Claire Pike can afford two bedrooms? Last time I saw her she was maybe seven or eight?"

Byron nodded, "That sounds about right. We were like fourteen or something last time we saw you." Byron left the question of where Jeff had gone and why he'd stopped calling around them at that time hanging in the air. Jeff felt the question being asked, but chose to ignore it.

"Well, it seems like a nice place, anyway." He said. "Despite the decor."

"It's all right. Claire's an easy roommate." Byron walked toward the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?"

“Water’s good."

Byron came back into the living room and handed Jeff a glass of water and the resume-writing book. "Thanks," Jeff said, taking both.

"How's the job search?"

Jeff shrugged. "I haven't even started. I've never had to make a resume because I got my job right out of college."

"What were you doing?"

"IT. It was for a law firm in Palo, Hodges & Soileau. The two partners were married, but they had this really awful bitter divorce. So bitter, that they broke up the firm in the divorce settlement and they couldn't come to an agreement about who got to offer which staff members a position. So they actually had it written in their divorce settlement that neither one could hire any current H&S employees for a period of two years. So, that left twelve attorneys and a staff of about twenty jobless."

"Jesus. What assholes."

"Yeah, well." Jeff shrugged. He didn't really feel like talking about it. "What about you?"

Byron laughed. "I worked as a mortgage lender for a now-defunct mortgage company that has some legal issues over fraudulent lending. It's a terrible name to have on a resume right now. I must have sent out hundreds of resumes this past year and not a single call back."

"God. Were you implicated?"

"Thank God I wasn't. The fraud was happening higher up. But I'll probably have to give a deposition at some point."

"Shit. Adulthood sucks," Jeff announced, as though he'd just made this discovery.

"Yes it does." Byron agreed. "I'm probably going to have to go back to school if I want to get a job."

"Doing what?"

Byron shrugged. "Nick’s a nurse. He told me I have the qualities of a good nurse, whatever that means."

"A nurse?"

Byron looked put out, "There are a lot of male nurses."

Jeff didn't say anything. He knew there were male nurses, obviously. And from what he remembered about Byron (at least teenage Byron), Nick was right. Byron had always been kinder, more sensitive, than his identical brothers Adam and Jordan. Back when Jeff used to still hang out with them in Stoneybrook, he'd always liked Byron the best of the four Pike boys.

Byron continued, "Nick works at the ER at Stoneybrook General."

"Oh yeah?"

Byron nodded and hesitated. "He was, um. He was there the night that your stepdad was brought in." Byron's voice went up at the end of the sentence, as though he was asking a question rather than making a statement of fact.

Jeff paused. "Really?"

Byron nodded.

"Huh." Jeff thought for a moment. "It was a brain aneurysm, you know."

"I know. I found that out later, from mom." Neither one said anything for a moment, so Byron continued, "How are your mom and Mary Anne?"

Jeff shrugged. "Mom is....I don't know. She's still on a leave of absence from work and I'm trying to decide if that's best for her. She hasn't really talked to me much since I've been home. I've only seen Mary Anne once since I've been back. I think she's gone into caretaker mode. Maybe as a way of dealing with Richard's death?" Jeff shrugged again. "I don't know. You know, I don't really know Mary Anne all that well. We only see each other a few times a year, and she's not even super close to Dawn anymore."

Jeff was sure Byron probably had trouble grasping the concept of siblings not being as thick as thieves. The Pike siblings had always had a really strong bond as kids, which with Mallory employing Byron, Claire offering up a room to Byron, and Nick giving Byron career advice, it seemed the bond was stronger than ever. Jeff felt a little jealous.

He and Byron chatted, mostly about the economy and the types of jobs they would be applying for, for about another hour. Byron offered to make lunch for Jeff, but he begged off, saying he finally needed to concentrate on producing a resume and starting a job search in earnest.

"Listen," Byron said as Jeff was leaving. "Next weekend, my parents are going to be at their place at the lake, so my brothers and I are having our monthly poker game at their house. Do you want to come?"

"Would I be intruding?"

Byron shook his head. "Nah, we've brought guests before. It's a guys' night thing. Always the four of us, sometimes other friends. "

Jeff thought for a minute. "I don't really have a lot of money to lose."

Byron smiled. "Maybe you'll win. And it's small stakes...like really small stakes now."

"OK, I'm in. Give me a call and let me know when."

As Byron said good-bye and closed the door behind Jeff, Jeff couldn't help feeling a little happier than he had in months. He had a book on resume writing, he'd had a good conversation with an old friend, and he had an invitation to hang out with some other old friends. Maybe his luck was beginning to change.


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Anne had learned something about herself in this last month. She was good in a crisis. It was surprising to her, she'd never thought she would be. But from the moment Sharon had called her to tell her something was wrong with Richard, Mary Anne went into the mindset that she needed to take care of things. She made it to the hospital first. She was the first to hear the news, since her mom had been sedated. She was the one who asked Nick Pike, thankfully on duty that night, to let Mallory know and to have her spread the word among friends.

Then she went home and took care of her two boys.

It was probably motherhood that had done it to her. The boys were only fourteen months apart in age, but when her youngest, Jake, was born prematurely and with complications, that was the first time Mary Anne met her crisis-mode alter ego. She visited the baby every day in the NICU, carefully charting his weight, how much he ate, how often he pooped and peed, what the settings on his vent were, which medications he was taking, and how much breastmilk she was able to pump. The nurses assured her that they were charting the same things (and more), but doing this helped her feel better, more in control, and the nurses were happy to let her continue.

Then when Richard passed, Mary Anne grieved hard. She cried and got angry and felt like an orphan, but only her husband, Simon, got to see that. Mary Anne was overcome by a desire to take care of her mother. The only mother she'd ever known, and the last remaining of the three parents she'd had.

Sharon always inspired others to bring out their care-giving personalities. Whether it was making sure she was adding sugar, not salt, to your coffee, or making sure that perishables went into the refrigerator, not the pantry.

So Mary Anne dutifully helped her mother clean the house, take care of the will, and brought the boys, now five and six years old, over often to keep her company.

And now Mary Anne didn't know what to do about Jeff. Jeff had become her stepbrother nearly twenty years ago. Not long after that, Sharon adopted her and she and Jeff became legal brother and sister. But they weren't close - not by a long shot.

When he first brought Marcus over, they'd gotten a little closer. Mostly because Marcus was a man who was great with children and Josh, who was eighteen months at the time, quickly fell in love with his "Unca Marca.” When Jake grew up, he followed suit.

But now, Marcus was gone. Jeff was unemployed. Jeff was, quite clearly, depressed. And Mary Anne had no idea how to help him. It was all she wanted to do, help Jeff. She had no job prospects for him. Jeff wasn't ready to be set up, and anyway, Jeff and Marcus were really the only gay people she knew, so she didn't have anyone to set him up with.

Jake came wandering in to the kitchen carrying his breakfast dishes, and still in his pajamas. Mary Anne smiled at him. "Let's go visit Grandma this morning," she said to her youngest.

Jake jumped up and down. "Is Uncle Jeff there?"

Mary Anne nodded. "He lives with Grandma now."

"OK!" Jake shouted, running back toward his room. He came back a few seconds later.

"Mommy, is Uncle Marcus living there too?"

Mary Anne had wondered when this would come up. She was surprised that Josh hadn't been the one to ask first, he'd been really attached to Marcus. "No sweetie. They are separated."

"What's separated?"

"Um." How do you explain this to a five year old? "Well, you know how you're friend Lexi's mom and dad don't live together anymore? And Lexi lives part of the time with her mom and part of the time with her dad?"

"Are they separated?"

"Yes. When grownups can't be married to each other anymore, they get separated."

"Oh. Are you and daddy going to get separated?"

"No, sweetie. I promise, Daddy and I are going to stay married."

"Did Grandma and Granddad get separated?"

"No. Remember we talked about this. Granddad got very sick and he died."

Jake got a faraway look on his face. Then he smiled. "Oh yeah. I remember now," And he continued to run back to his bedroom, the conversation about separations and his Granddad's death had not bothered him too much. The way her kids' minds worked was sometimes a mystery to Mary Anne.

After getting him dressed, Mary Anne drove to the grocery store to buy things to make lunch for her mom and Jeff, then headed back toward her house, stopping off at Sharon’s on the way.

She let herself in the side door, and saw Jeff sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over a book. He looked up when Jake ran in ahead of her. He smiled at the boy, "Jakie!" he said as he picked up his nephew and sat him on his lap.

"Hi," Mary Anne glanced at the book. "Ooh. Working on your resume?"

"Yeah," Jeff said with no enthusiasm. "I can't even start looking for a job until I get this done."

Mary Anne saw the opportunity she was looking for; the opportunity to give Jeff something to help him out. "I was working in Human Resources before I had the babies. I can help you out."

"Really?"

"Sure," Mary Anne grabbed a few sheets of paper and sat down with Jeff. "Jake, go find Grandma. Maybe you can play Candy Land while I help Uncle Jeff."

"OK," the little boy ran off.

Mary Anne and Jeff got to work. Mary Anne glanced through the resume book, and pointed out the most helpful hints, and showed Jeff the best way to format to get the attention of someone hiring.

"What kinds of jobs are you going to apply for?"

Jeff shrugged. "IT, I guess. It's what I was doing before and I'm good at it. I don't know what's out there though, in this area. So I'm headed to the library this afternoon to use the internet to start searching."

"Yeah, Mom and Dad really need a better connection," Mary Anne agreed. Jeff didn't say anything about the fact that Mary Anne had included Dad in her comment. "Listen though. If it's crowded, you only get twenty minutes at a time on the library's computer. Forget the library, come over to our place. You can use our computer while we work on mom to convince her to get a better connection."

"You sure? It could take a while."

Mary Anne shrugged. "No big deal. I'll get you a house key, you can come over whenever you want."

Jeff looked at her, with an expression Mary Anne couldn't quite read. A smile spread over his face slowly. "Yeah, OK. Thanks."

______

 

That next week Mary Anne was pleased that Jeff had come over several times. They always chatted and Josh had been thrilled to come home from kindergarten and see his favorite Uncle on their computer. He could usually (OK, always) convince Jeff to stop what he was doing and play games with him.

On Friday, Jeff mentioned to Mary Anne that he was going to the Pike’s to play poker with the Byron and his brothers.

"Have you seen Nick?" Mary Anne asked quickly.

"No, I've only seen Byron since I've been back."

"Oh my God," Mary Anne nodded knowingly. "Just wait til you see Nick."

"Why?" Jeff's interest was piqued.

Mary Anne smiled, like she was hiding a secret. "Oh, no reason. You'll see what I mean when you see him."

  
_______________

 

It was a nice night and Jeff decided to make the walk over to Slate Street to the Pike parents' house. Here was one thing about Stoneybrook, at least. It was small enough that he could walk most places. In Palo City he and Marcus had lived on a main four-lane road and they couldn't walk anywhere besides the other side of the apartment community.

The crisp night air gave Jeff time to think. He was worried about his resumes, his prospects. But he was also worried about his mother. He mulled over the possibility of talking to Mary Anne about it.

Several years ago, it had occurred to Jeff that Mary Anne was closer to his mother than either he or Dawn were. Seeing Mary Anne this afternoon with his mother drove the point home further. Mary Anne had been the one who was here the night Richard died. Mary Anne helped arrange the funeral. Prior to that, Mary Anne was the one who saw his mother (their mother) on a regular basis. She's the one who bought the house down the street.

Who was he kidding that he was moving back here to help his mom? She had Mary Anne, she didn't need him.

The walk did little to help Jeff as he headed up the front porch of the Pike house. He shook his head, trying to clear it a little, before knocking. Byron’s identical brother, Adam answered the door.

"Jeff Fucking Schafer!" Adam said happily. "How the hell are you?"

“Hey, Adam."

"Come in," Adam stepped aside and Jeff walked into the living room. It looked the same as it had when he was a kid, except the coffee table had been moved and a poker table was set up in its place. Adam still looked nearly identical to Byron, though his hair was a little shorter and Byron was a little chubbier.

"Jordan!" Adam called into the kitchen, "Jeff's here!"

Jordan, looking more like Adam than Byron, came out, also holding a beer and with a big smile on his face. He leaned in for a manly hug, punched Jeff on the arm lightly and said, “How the hell are you?"

"Adam just asked me that."

Adam and Jordan smiled but Byron rolled his eyes. "I already told them not to ask you about jobs or relationships."

"Ah," Jeff nodded. "I lost my job and I got dumped. And my stepdad died. And I moved back to Stoneybrook. That's how I am."

"Ouch," Jordan nodded. "You need a beer." Jeff followed Jordan into the kitchen where the four of them sat, catching up on the last decade and a half of Jeff's absence. Jordan and Adam did most of the talking. Byron was leaned against the counter, not talking, but seemed to be observing the conversation carefully.

The door opened and a voice called out "Sorry I'm late!"

"Nick!” shouted the other brothers at once.

Jeff turned his head, curious to see why Mary Anne was so interested in his opinion of Nick Pike, the youngest and as far as Jeff remembered, the most annoying of all the Pike children. He understood the minute Nick walked into the kitchen, shrugging off a worn leather jacket as he entered.

Little Nick Pike had grown up to be gorgeous. Not merely good-looking and far beyond just handsome. Nick was jaw-dropping, drink-spilling, cock-stiffening, breathtakingly gorgeous.

He was taller than his brothers, probably just over six feet tall. And while the others had bright blue eyes, almost disconcertingly piercing, Nick's were softer, maybe a little grayer. His brown hair was slightly lighter than the others as well, with a slightly reddish tint to it, and worn longer.

But his face was just perfection. Jeff knew his definition of handsome could be unconventional at times (after all, he thought Marcus, who closely resembled an early 1990's, pre-steroids era Barry Bonds, was handsome), but there was no denying that Nick Pike was, what his mother would call 'a tall drink of water.'

As he hung the jacket on the back of his chair, Jeff could see Nick was wearing a faded Barack Obama t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. The shirt was a little snug, showing off his biceps, which were just big enough to be noticed, but not so big to be intimidating.

And Jeff, who for the last five months woke up every morning hoping this would be the day Marcus called and asked to get back together, found himself thinking about Nick 'please let him be gay, please let him be gay.'

He wasn't. A few cursory questions (which he also asked of Jordan and Adam so as not to arouse suspicion) revealed that Nick was, in fact, involved with the very lucky, very lovely Liliana, who was very much female and, according to Adam "super hot."

_______

 

The poker game started a few minutes later, and Jeff was surprised that they weren't playing for money at all. They were using their old superhero pogs, toys that they used to play so long ago, it was when Jeff had still been childhood friends with them.  
  
"What?" Jeff asked.

"When Byron here lost his job, he didn't have money to play for real. So we play with these guys." Jordan explained. "The Incredible Hulk most valuable, he's worth twenty dollars. Then Captain America, he’s worth ten, Superman is five, and poor Wonder Woman, she’s only worth one.

"That's....uh." Jeff didn't know what to say, "That's something."

He didn't even really know what he meant, but it made the Pike brothers laugh at least.

It was fun playing, but a whole lot of playing wasn't getting done. Conversations kept coming up between hands. At one point, after several more beers, Adam asked Jeff point blank about getting dumped.

"Adam," Byron groaned. "That's so rude."

Jeff, feeling slightly too buzzed to care, shrugged his shoulders. "It's OK." He turned to Adam, "I was with this guy for five years, and he just up and dumped me one day, and I have no idea why. Literally, no idea. He said something about our relationship being stale and I don't even know what the fuck that means."

There was a pause. "You're gay?"

"Yeah. Wait, didn't I mention that? Didn't I say my boyfriend dumped me?"

"No. You just said you were dumped."

"Oh. Yeah, I was. But it was by a guy. Is this, like, a problem?"

"No. No," Nick reassured him quickly. "Byron's gay too."

Jeff looked at Byron, "You are?"

Byron nodded, smiled and held up his beer in a 'cheers,' motion toward Jeff.

"Aren't you supposed to have some kind of gaydar?" Jordan asked laughing. "Shouldn't you have been able to tell that Byron is gay?" Before Jeff could answer, he turned to Byron, "And shouldn't you have figured out the same thing about Jeff?"

Byron shrugged, "I did."

Jeff whipped his head around to face Byron, who was sitting next to him, "You did?"

"Mmm-hmm," Byron nodded, and started shuffling the deck of cards.

"Hey!" Adam said suddenly. "You guys should, like, go out." He sounded so eager.

Jeff and Byron reacted quickly and  at the same time. "No, thanks," Jeff said, while Byron let out an exaggerated "Nooope." They looked at each other and laughed.

Adam and Jordan looked taken aback. "Why not?"

Byron rolled his eyes and looked at Jeff, who smiled indulgently. "Because. Just being gay isn't enough of a reason to go out with someone," Byron explained. "I'm not really interested in going out with a guy fresh out of a really long relationship and who is just as unemployed as I am to boot." He glanced at Jeff. "No offense."

"None taken," Jeff assured him. "Anyway, I've been thinking that maybe this breakup with Marcus isn't permanent." Jeff surprised himself almost as he said it.

"You moved three thousand miles away from him," Nick pointed out. "That seems pretty permanent to me."

"Yeah, but, he could call. I'd go back if he did."

"Jeff." Nick shook his head, "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. That's kind of pathetic."

Jeff felt his ire raising. "You don't know him. You don't even really know me," he argued.

"You know what we should do?" Adam asked, interrupting whatever Nick and Jeff were starting to get into. "We should take Jeff to that gay bar in Hartford. The one we took Byron too after he and Jerry broke up."

"I don't-" Jeff looked around. Clearly he'd forgotten about the way the Pike family worked. "I don't want to go to a gay bar," he said sullenly. "I want to play poker."

Adam started to push it, but Byron shushed him.

______________

 

After the game, Adam, Jordan and Nick had left. Jeff was helping Byron clean up.

"How'd you know I'm gay?" he asked. "I've always been terrible at telling. I think my gaydar is broken."

Byron laughed, "Mine _never_ has been. I was almost positive you were, but I knew for sure when I saw how you looked at Nick when he walked in."

Jeff blushed. "Sorry," he murmured.

Byron shrugged. "He's my brother, but I'm not blind, you know. I get it."

“God,” Jeff was embarrassed. “Does he even realize?”

“I don’t think so,” Byron murmured. “All the nurses at the hospital fall over themselves when he walks in the room.”

“And Lilliana?”

“She’s nice. She’s really pretty and he’s crazy about her.”

“She must get jealous.”

Byron gave Jeff an odd look. “Why? She can trust him.”

“Oh, I’m sure. I didn’t mean it like that. Like, I don’t think he’d cheat on her. But do you think she ever wonders about the nurses who stare at him?”

Byron shrugged. “I bet she understands. She has eyes too, you know. She can see exactly what you saw. But why would she even go out with him if she couldn’t trust him?”

Jeff looked at Byron, and realized he was honestly confused by Jeff’s question, that Byron really didn’t understand how some relationships could breed unhealthiness and jealousies.

“You’re right,” Jeff agreed. It was easier letting Byron think that all relationships were as functional as John and Dee Pike's.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mostly-dialogue chapter.

Sharon Spier stood at the window of the living room watching Jeff leave for yet another afternoon over at Mary Anne’s house. She was glad that her kids were becoming closer, and that her grandkids would have their Uncle closer to them. But she was constantly worried that Mary Anne was providing Jeff something that she should have been.

But the fog of grief that clouded her life since Richard’s death was too dense. So while she understood that maybe she needed to be there for Jeff as much as she wanted Jeff to be there for her, it was difficult to actually do anything about it.

She wondered briefly if maybe it was time for her to go back to work. She was a secretary for the Economics department at Stoneybrook University, and the Department Head had insisted her work was in the hands of a capable temp, that Sharon could take as long a leave of absence as needed. She vacillated between being glad her work was being taken care of and being offended that they department didn’t seem to need her. Usually, she was unable to make herself care too much.

Sharon sighed as she walked into the kitchen to make herself another cup of coffee. Probably she didn’t need the caffeine, but there was this lull in the day and she didn’t know any other way to fill it besides coffee and daytime TV. As the thought of another episode about babies on TLC made her shudder, she figured that, yes, the time was probably right for a return to work.

Work, she thought. Talk to Jeff tonight. Go to work on Monday.

When Jeff returned from Mary Anne’s house, he seemed happier than he had in a while. “I got a job interview,” he announced.

The fog lifted from Sharon’s mind momentarily, as she said with honest sincerity, “That’s great, hon. What for?”

Jeff shrugged, “It’s not my first choice, honestly. It’s for a Fixit-Geek position at Electronics Emporium.

“But that sounds up your alley,” she insisted.

Jeff shrugged, “I’d rather do IT for a large office, mom. This pay is crap, but if I get it, it’ll keep me from having too big a gap on my resume and I can keep looking for something else.”

“Oh, well. It’s better than nothing. And who knows? You might end up enjoying it.”

“Well, I haven’t gotten it yet.”

“You’ll get it, I’m sure,” she leaned over and patted his cheek.

Jeff grabbed her fingers as they brushed his cheek and leaned in and kissed them. “Can we order pizza tonight? I’ve been back here for a few weeks, and I haven’t eaten from Pizza Express yet.”

Sharon laughed. She knew Jeff hated Stoneybrook. She knew that she was the only reason he’d ever come back for visits. But there were times when she was sure Pizza Express was a close second.

“You call in the order and I’ll pay. Let me get my purse.”

The pizza came and Jeff sat down, took a huge bite of his pizza and closed his eyes in pleasure, “Mmmm....” He groaned. “I have missed this pizza. Mom, I would dream about it in Palo.”

Sharon smiled, picking a bit at her crust, the part of the pizza she always ate first. “Speaking of Palo....” She trailed off. “Did you want to talk about what happened?”

“With Marcus?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Sharon had been told by some other parents in PFLAG that adult gay children might be more hesitant to talk about their relationships with their parents. Sharon had always made sure to ask about Marcus, to invite him to her house, and to treat him exactly as she treated Mary Anne’s husband Simon, or any of Dawn’s boyfriends. Actually, she probably treated him better than Dawn’s boyfriends seeing as Dawn rarely had a boyfriend who lasted more than one trip back east.

“I just,” Jeff held the pizza slice in front of him, like he was making a point with it. “I just honestly don’t know. I mean, I get we’d been together five years, and things were going to, you know, slow down?” Jeff blushed a little. “But it wasn’t like we were fighting or anything. I mean, not like you and dad always did.”

“Ah Jeff, there’s more than one way to have a relationship go south. Your dad and I just chose the incredibly loud route.”

“I guess,” Jeff shrugged.

“So what did Marcus say?”

“I didn’t really understand most of it. He said that I was too reliant on him or something.”

“Like how?”

“You got me. I’ve basically given you all the information he gave me, and it’s been five months. I’m still completely in the dark about the whole thing.”

“Poor sweetie. I wish I could give you some advice.” Sharon patted Jeff’s hand absent-mindedly, “But I don’t think I’m the one to give great relationship advice.”

“Well, you and Richard were happy,” Jeff pointed out.

Sharon shrugged. “It’s much easier when you get married when you’re older,” she explained. “You know more. You’re less likely to put up with anyone’s bullshit, but you kind of figure out a better way of dealing with it.”

“Like how?”

Sharon thought hard. “Well, for example. If Marcus thought you were too reliant on him, he probably should have talked to you about it. It sounds like this is something that bothered him, but instead of working on it, he didn’t say anything until he was so bothered he couldn’t think of anything to do but leave. When you’re older, you learn that you have to deal with shit like that right away before it festers.”

“Like you and dad?”

“Exactly. That was a long-festering mess.”

“When we were kids, Dawn spent the two years before you guys finally split up telling me it was going to happen soon. Then I would cry and deny it whenever she said it, then she’d call me stupid, but agree that I was probably right.”

Sharon nodded in agreement. “She could be pretty manipulative sometimes, especially towards you.You always were so easy to get worked up.”

“I guess I thought your marriage was OK.”

“No. That started to go bad when you were five.”

“What happened?”

Sharon raised her eyebrows, “You don’t know this?”

“Know what?”

“About my third pregnancy?”

“What?”

“When you were five, I got pregnant. Your dad’s company was having layoffs, and we were certain he was going to be laid off. So I got an abortion and two days later we found out his job was safe,” Sharon shook her head and snorted.

“What the hell?” Jeff ran his hand through his blond hair. “I can’t believe that.”

“Things were never really the same after that. I felt like I had been pressured into having the abortion, even though I was just as terrified as your dad of him losing his job. He thought I dwelled on it too much. I don’t know if you remember the summer we took separate vacations? He went to Hawaii and I took you kids here to visit Grandma and Grandpop?”

“I remember that.”

“That was just a few months later. We had this fight about it-“

“I remember that, too” Jeff said.

“But later we talked about it and decided it would be good for us. And when we came back, it was better for a while. Your dad has always loved surfing and the ocean. It was so difficult for him to give those things up when we started a family. And I had always pitied him for it, because it was so easy for me to give those things up. But once I had that abortion, I just never cared about his sacrifices. Because after that, I felt like I had sacrificed more than he had.”

Jeff was silent for a few minutes while Sharon looked out the window. When he didn’t say anything, she asked, “You aren’t judging me, are you?”

He was momentarily surprised, “For the abortion?” She nodded. “No. Definitely not. It’s just kind of weird, thinking that I could have been a middle child, you know? I hope you don’t feel guilty about it still.”

“Oh, no. I feel guilt about a lot of things, but not over that anymore. I’ve never gotten over my guilt of moving across the country after the divorce though.”

“But you met Richard.”

“Right. But I dragged you and Dawn here, away from your dad and away from your school and friends. And I did it because I really needed my mom and dad and couldn’t even get past myself to do what was best for you two, which would have been staying in California.”

“It worked out OK, though, didn’t it?”

“Did it? It worked for me. I met Richard and I adopted Mary Anne. But it didn’t work out for you or Dawn, you both moved back in less than two years. Then you refused to come back at all when you became a teenager.”

Jeff nodded. “I should tell you about that,” he said slowly.

“About what?”

“Well, you just told me about your marriage to dad, so I should probably tell you the truth about why I moved decided to not ever come back.”

“Is this something I really want to know?”

“I dunno.”

“Tell me.”

“OK. You remember Jerry Haney? That kid who was so mean to everyone? I gave him a couple of black eyes in fifth grade? And he was always picking on Nicky Pike for some reason?”

“I know him.”

“I was here for Christmas break and I was running in the park once and he was there, and Nick was there with their youngest sister Claire. And Jerry was just being relentless toward Nick, who was trying so hard to ignore him. And then he called Nick a fag, and I just snapped,” Jeff snapped his fingers. “I just completely lost it on him and as I jogged by I punched him square in the jaw.”

“You did?” Sharon sounded surprised.

“Well, I knew I was gay by then, even if no one else did. And I couldn’t stand hearing that asshole call Nick a fag, because Nick was, like, eleven at the time. Who even does that? What kind of fifteen year old picks on an eleven year old kid? It’s sick. So I clocked him.”

“Good for you,” Sharon said.

“Well that’s not it.”

“Oh, there’s more?”

“Jerry wanted to fight me, but I wouldn’t. So he followed me home. I was jogging and he was just steps behind me. I ignored him, pretended he wasn’t there, and I just tried to run where there were plenty of people. But when I got back to the house, he followed me right up the porch. No one was home, no cars were driving by, so it was kind of isolated, and he cornered me. And he was saying things like ‘mind your own business’ and ‘I could take you down,’ just stupid teenage bully stuff. And then he said, ‘why’d you really hit me?’

“So I was like, ‘You were picking on Nick and he’s a kid and you called him a fag.’ Then Jerry was like, ‘You got a problem with the word fag?’

“So I was like, ‘Yeah, you shouldn’t go around calling kids that word.’ And then he called me out on being gay. And of course I denied it because I’m not a complete idiot. But he said he didn’t believe me, and he leaned in and kissed me.”

“What?” Sharon looked surprised

Jeff rested his chin in his hand and looked sideways at his mother. “It was my first kiss. And if I’d pulled away, I probably would have been able to save face and I could swear not to tell anyone he did that if he’d lay off Nick. But I stupidly kissed him back.”

“That wasn’t stupid,” his mom insisted.

“It was,” Jeff admitted simply. “But I was fifteen, deeply in the closet, and had never been kissed, so pulling away didn’t seem like much of an option.”

“What’d Jerry do?”

“He pulled back and said he knew I was a fag, and left, laughing. That night I told you I was going back to Palo the following day and you couldn’t make me come back ever.”

“But, why?”

“Because Jerry would have told everyone I kissed him and I was gay,” Jeff couldn’t believe his mom didn’t understand that, it seemed obvious to him.

“No he wouldn’t have.”

“I’m sure he would have.”

“No,” Sharon shook her head. “He came out of the closet right after you guys would have graduated high school. Then he and Byron Pike dated for a while.”

Jeff had been ready to bite into another slice of pizza, but put it down quickly. “Jerry is gay? And he dated Byron?”

“Well, yeah. I thought you knew that.”

“I didn’t even know Byron’s gay until I went to his poker game on Friday.”

“How about that Nick Pike, huh?”

Jeff rolled his eyes, “You too?”

“Oh Jeff,” Sharon patted his hands. “It’s not just me. It’s everyone.”

Jeff smiled and laughed a little at his mother. Knowing his mom was checking Nick out just as much as he did probably should have grossed him out, but instead he was kind of amused by it. “I really can’t get over Byron going out with a guy like Jerry, though.”

“Well, it was a while ago. And even though Stoneybrook is bigger now than it used to be, there still aren’t a lot of gay people here, so I think maybe it was natural.”

“Why’d they break up?”

“I don’t know about that. I really only know because I’m friendly with Dee Pike and she’d mentioned it to me once when we saw each other at the store.”

“Huh.” Jeff shook his head, as though trying to clear it out. “I might need to talk to Byron about this.”

“Oh Jeff, it’s ancient history.”

“Either way.” Jeff said, unsure what he even meant by that. “I’m sorry I left you here.”

“No,” Sharon said firmly. “No, don’t feel that way. I’m the parent, I made the choice to take you away from your home and I never wanted you to feel like you had to stay for me.” Jeff and Sharon ate their pizza in silence for a while.

“I think I’m going to go back to work on Monday,” Sharon said.

Jeff nodded. “I think it’d be good for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm-hmm. You seem a little lost around here. I think it would help you stay busy.”

“That’s what I’m hoping."

They made chit-chat for the rest of the meal and when they were done with pizza, Sharon scooped out some chocolate ice cream and opened a bottle of wine for them to split. “For what it’s worth,” she said after finishing her first large glass, “I’m really glad you came back.”

Jeff swirled the wine around his glass, “If I can get this job, I just might regret it a little less.”

Sharon stood up and planted a kiss on top of Jeff’s head. “I love you, and I like your company.”

Jeff smiled, enjoying the feeling of being mothered again.


	6. Interview

Just minutes before Jeff had to leave the house for his job interview at Fix-it Geeks, he got a call from another company, a statistical research firm, about another resume he’d sent in.This job was more along the lines of what he was looking for, so he happily engaged the office manager while he was driving to Electronics Emporium. By the time he pulled into the parking garage, he’d set up an interview for the next afternoon.

At Electronics Emporium, he was surprised to find himself interviewed by Eduardo, a guy no more than twenty-one years old. Eduardo said that he liked Jeff’s resume, and already wanted to hire him, that the interview was more a formality.

“I do have another job interview tomorrow,” Jeff admitted partway through the interview.

Eduardo looked surprised, but quickly tried to cover it up. “Oh, of course. We did want you to start this weekend though. We’ll have enough people here to train you.”

“Well, I guess I could know about the other job by then.”

Eduardo nodded, “Please let me know. I didn’t even call anyone else because you had such good experience.” Jeff felt like he was probably incredibly overqualified and Eduardo continued, “A lot of what we deal with is fixing viruses on people’s computers.”

“I did a lot of that at my old job,” Jeff assured him.

Eduardo glanced at the resume, “I would have thought working in an office like that would be managing a lot of the software programs.”

“There was that,” Jeff said. “But it was a law firm, and let me tell you, attorneys are notorious for clicking on links they shouldn’t be clicking on.”

“Really?” Eduardo asked laughing a little.

“Oh yeah,” Jeff nodded. “A lot of porn going on there.”

Eduardo snickered. “Yeah. Unfortunately you’ll go on these house calls and see some pretty questionable things on people’s browser histories.”

Despite the fact that this was an interview, Jeff found Eduardo to be a likable guy immediately. He knew he probably shouldn’t have made a joke about porn in a job interview, but there was a casualness about Eduardo and this whole interview that made Jeff think it would be all right.

“Listen,” Eduardo stood up at the end of the interview. “The job is yours if you want it, but please do let me know as soon as possible.”

Jeff stood up and shook Eduardo’s hand. “I will. Thanks for having me in here, Eduardo.” The resume-writing book had said to make sure to use your interviewer’s name at least once.

As they walked toward the door of Eduardo’s small office and back into the bright lights of the store, Eduardo asked, “I’m a new manager, and you’re the first person I ever interviewed. How’d I do?”

“You did great,” Jeff assured him. “I couldn’t even tell it was your first time.”

_

The next morning, Jeff had a hell of a time getting to his second interview. The traffic to Stamford was awful and he was only able to find street parking. It was also chilly and drizzly. By the time Jeff arrived at the office, with no more than a minute to spare, he was cold, wet and grumpy. Still, he put a smile on his face as he checked in with the receptionist.

It turned out not to be the job for him. He’d had such high hopes, but this job included some light work with Geographic Information Systems, something Jeff had never had to learn. As he walked out of the interview, which lasted no more than fifteen minutes, he had to wonder why they’d even called him in the first place.

As Jeff made his way back to his car, he realized that he had better take the job at Electronics Emporium. A better offer might not come his way for quite a while.

He sat in his car for several minutes, pondering the situation. The job paid less than half what his job in Palo had paid. Although it was true he wasn’t paying rent at the moment. But a time would come when he would want to pay rent, he didn’t want to live with his mother forever, after all. And what if he got comfortable there? And slowed down his search for a better job?

Jeff reached into his suit pocket for his cell phone. He should have called Eduardo to accept the offer, but instead he dialed Byron’s number.

“What’s up?” Byron asked him.

“I had two job interviews,” Jeff said, and proceeded to tell him what happened at both.

“So this second one is a definite no?”

“Definitely. I don’t have GIS experience. There are whole Masters degrees offered in GIS, I have no idea why this firm even called me in.”

"Then take the first one,” Byron said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

When Jeff hesitated, Byron stressed, “Please don’t turn down a job.”

“It’s not a great job.”

“Neither is unemployment.”

Jeff didn’t say anything and Byron sighed. “Look. I’m going to be making Sophie her lunch in a while. Why don’t you come over here to Mallory’s place and we can eat lunch together.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. After lunch both kids will take a nap.”

Jeff wasn’t too sure what, if anything, Byron was implying, but he chose to ignore that and said, “Yeah, OK. I’m in Stamford now, I could be there in less than a half hour.”

Jeff got to Mallory’s house, and Byron looked at him appraisingly. “You look good in a suit,” he said with an approving nod.

“Uh, thanks?” Jeff answered to Byron’s back as he’d turned to go work on lunch.

“I hope you don’t mind hot dogs,” Byron called from the kitchen.

"Vegetarian," Jeff reminded Byron. "I haven't eaten a hot dog since I last went to a baseball game. I always make an exception there."

Byron laughed as he handed Jeff a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter. “Still an Angels fan?”

Jeff shook his head in amazement as he began making himself a sandwich. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

A sudden memory flashed through Jeff’s mind. Punching Jerry Haney in the face when he was ten years old because Jerry said the Angels sucked.

“Hey, did you used to date Jerry Haney?” Jeff asked.

“Where’d that question come from?” Byron asked as he motioned for Jeff and Sophie to come into the kitchen, while he picked Henry up out of his bouncy seat. Jeff didn’t answer and waited while Byron got Henry buckled into his high chair and opened a jar of strained green beans. Byron looked up and noticed Jeff looking at him expectantly. “Yes. I did.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather not get into ancient history,” Byron said dryly, as he began to cut Sophie’s hot dog into small bite-size pieces. Jeff continued to watch Byron fool with Sophie’s food and then begin spooning baby food into little Henry’s mouth. “Eat,” he motioned to Jeff. “If you wait for me, you’ll never finish your food.”

Every few bites of baby food, Byron would take a large bite of his food. Jeff, perhaps feeling in a pervy mood, watched with wonder at the size bite of hot dog Byron could take. He shook his head slightly, trying to clean up his act. Byron, he’d discovered, was a _nice_ guy.

“Listen,” Byron wiped a smear of ketchup off the side of his mouth. “I think I’ll have to beat you up a little if you don’t take that Geeks job.”

“Oh, you think you could take me?” Jeff asked.

Byron shrugged. “I’ve been unemployed way too long to not want to beat up anyone who turns down a perfectly good job.”

“But it’s not perfectly good.”

Byron glared at him briefly, “A perfect job is not the same as a perfectly good job. This Geeks job is perfectly good. It’s fine. You aren’t going to become rich, but you’ll have a bit of money.”

“I’ll give up my unemployment benefits.” Jeff pointed out.

“How much time do you have left?”

“Only a few more weeks,” Jeff admitted.

“Take the job, Jeff. I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you. You might not get another interview in the next few weeks. You might not get another interview in the next few _months_.”

“I know,” Jeff admitted. “I know I need to take this. I think I’m sitting here pretending that I actually have a choice here, which I know I don’t.”

“You can still apply, then when you get something else, shove the Geeks job aside,” Byron put down Henry’s spoon and made a hand motion as though he was pushing away something gross.

Jeff saw the mannerisms, the way Byron often used his hands to make a point. At that moment, Jeff saw so much of his gay friends from California in Byron that he was surprised h he hadn’t picked up on it earlier.

“You’re right. And I know you’re right – you aren’t saying anything I haven’t told myself in the last hour or two. I was kind of hoping there was some perspective out there where taking this job is a really bad idea.”

“You might like it, you know.”

“My dad told me that when I was eighteen, about dating girls.”

Byron started laughing, “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Jeff laughed too and pressed his fingers into his eyes a little. “Right after I’d comeout to him. It’s funny now, because my dad and I are totally cool. But at the time, I thought he was the biggest...” Jeff glanced at Sophie, who’d finished her hot dog and was lining up her blueberries biggest to smallest on her plate, “mean guy in the world.”

“You know what my dad told me when he found out?”

“What?”

“He said ‘I figured that out quite a while ago.’”

For some reason, that struck Jeff as incredibly funny. Byron smiled at him, a slight quirk at the corner of his mouth, and he turned to Sophie. “Stop playing with your food and eat.”

While Byron put Sophie and Henry down for a nap, which was a half hour project, requiring a diaper change for Henry plus two stories and a glass of water for Sophie, Jeff called Eduardo at Electronics Emporium to accept the job offer.

Eduardo sounded relieved. “Excellent Jeff. Can you start Saturday afternoon? I’ll be in to train you. It’s two official days of training, then one day when someone tags along with you for your first day of house calls.”

“Sure,” Jeff tried to sound enthusiastic.

At last, Byron came down the stairs. Jeff followed him into the kitchen. Byron began washing dishes and handed Jeff a dishtowel. “Do you mind drying? Their dishwasher is broken.”

“Sure,” Jeff agreed. They worked together in silence, which Jeff finally broke. “So really. This Jerry Haney thing.”

Byron shook his head. “Look, the guy’s an asshole, OK? When we were kids he was an arrogant bully, and he never outgrew that. I only ever really went out with him because Stoneybrook isn’t that big and I didn’t know any other gay people at the time.”

“When did you go out with him?”

“I was twenty. It lasted just over a year.”

“So that was, like, ten years ago.”

“Right,” Byron agreed, shutting off the water and handing Jeff the last pot. “I said it was ancient history and I really did mean it.”

“You’ve had boyfriends since then?”

“Sure. Just not now.”

Jeff silently dried the pot and held it out for Byron, who took it out of his hands and bent down to put it away. When Byron stood up and turned around, Jeff took a step closer to him and leaned in for a kiss.

He had surprised Byron, he could tell. But it didn’t stop Byron from returning the kiss after a moment’s hesitation. Jeff deepened the kiss, pulling Byron closer to him by his hips.

After nearly a minute, Byron pulled away. “I wasn’t kidding at the poker game,” he told Jeff, blushing slightly. “I really am not interested in someone who’s just out of a really long relationship and who’s unemployed.”

“I’m not unemployed,” Jeff insisted. “I’m a Fix-it Geek, remember?”

Byron smiled slightly. “You just told us a couple weeks ago that you thought Marcus would probably call and want to get back together.”

Jeff hesitated, because he had said that, and a part of him still thought it was true. But he shrugged and said “We’re broken up. Even if we were to get back together, he can’t be mad at anything I do now.”

“Ah, OK.” Byron said nodding, like he understood something. “Well, the other thing about me is that I don’t have casual sex.”

“What, like, never?”

“Never,” Byron said. “I just...don’t. And I think that’s what this would be right? If I let this go on? We’d be friends who mess around sometimes?”

Jeff didn’t answer for a moment, before saying “That’s fine. I get it.”

“I’m not shaming you!” Byron said, perhaps just realizing how he may have sounded. “I don’t judge people who do. It’s just not something I personally want.”

Jeff seemed to relax a little bit. “OK. No, I’m glad you told me.” He thought about it for a minute. “I’m relieved, actually. Because I wouldn’t want things to be weird between us.”

“Right,” Byron pointed out, “It’s like I said. Stoneybrook is a small town and the gay community isn’t so big. It’d be all kinds of awkward if we all had slept together.”

“Hey,” Jeff said, brightening. “Mary Anne told me that that bar on Market Street, The Eagle’s Nest, had gay nights on Thursdays. Why don’t we go?”

“Ugh. Totally not my scene, dude.”

“Really? You drink though. You did at the poker game.”

“Yeah, but it’s really loud in there. And crowded.”

“OK. Well, I start my job on Saturday. So maybe we can hang out on Friday?”

“Can’t,” Byron said apologetically. “It’s Mal’s wedding anniversary and I’m staying here with their kids Friday night so she and her husband can go out.” Byron paused, “You could come hang out here, though. If you want.”

“Babysitting with you?” Jeff laughed.

Byron blushed a little. “Yeah, well it’s a little high school.”

Jeff nodded, “Sure. I’ll come over. Mal won’t mind?”

Byron looked up and their eyes met. Jeff found himself surprised at how bright Byron’s eyes were, how they pierced him, and he was overcome with a desire to kiss him again. “She won’t mind. I think I already established we won’t be sleeping together.”

“Right,” Jeff nodded, turning away and continuing to dry the dishes. “Sure. We’ll play Candy Land and Tiddlywinks.”

Byron looked like he wasn’t sure if he was being made fun of. “You don’t have-”

Jeff cut him off. “I know. I’ll come. I like hanging out with you.”

Byron seemed relieved. “Sorry, I’m not more interesting.”

Jeff waved him off. “Stop. I’m coming. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t. Yeah?”

“All right,” he nodded. “All right. I’ll see you Friday then.”

So much for not being awkward.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff goes to a bar and makes one very bad decision.

Jeff started his job that Saturday evening. The previous day he spent with Byron watching Sophie and Henry, and much to Byron’s dismay they actually did have to play a couple of rounds of Candyland with Sophie, but Jeff laughed it off.

“I’ve played a few times with my nephews,” he said.

Once the kids went to bed, Byron and Jeff watched a movie, _Shaun of the Dead_ , which Byron couldn’t believe Jeff had never seen.

Overall, it had actually been a pretty fun night, and Jeff was still there at one in the morning when Mallory and her husband came home from their night out. She quirked an eyebrow toward Jeff, but didn’t say anything as he and Byron left the house.

Training at his Fix-it Geek job consisted of shadowing Eduardo and the two other employees who were working that night, then Eduardo shadowing him the following morning.

Eduardo was a nice guy, and Jeff could tell was going to be a ridiculously easy boss to work for. He was, as Jeff suspected in their interview, only twenty-one years old. In fact, all of the employees seemed to fall in the twenty to twenty-five age range, which made Jeff feel stupidly old.

But his age seemed to make him something of a star at the Fix-it Geek counter, and Jeff had to admit, that felt good.

Within a week of starting, Eduardo was coming to him to discuss computer problems and even a little bit of software design, which was his hobby. It was likely that Eduardo was just too young to be a boss, because Jeff realized he could fuck up in many ways and he’d never get disciplined for it.

But he wouldn’t, because he genuinely liked Eduardo and wouldn’t put his position with the Fixit Geek regional manager at risk.

Still, it was nice to work somewhere where his co-workers were nice and where he had something in common with them. In California, he’d worked mostly with lawyers and legal staff, and while they got along for the most part, he never quite fit in.  

Jeff celebrated his first paycheck a couple of weeks later by going to The Eagle’s Nest one Thursday evening. Mary Anne had told him it was a bar that hosted gay nights on Thursday evenings, but had warned him that gay guys were outnumbered by straight girls who wanted a night out without being hit on by creepy guys at any of the other bars.

He’d asked Byron one more time to go with him, but he begged off again. He also asked Mary Anne, who said she’d love to, but she had a PTA meeting that evening for Joshua’s school.

Thinking a town as small as Stoneybrook wouldn’t boast much of a gay bar scene, Jeff was slightly surprised to have to stand in line at seven in the evening to get in. He glanced around, and realized Mary Anne was right. Girls outnumbered guys by a ratio of about three to one, but he did notice that many of the girls were probably lesbians. He also noticed that most people had come in groups, or at least pairs, making him feel even lonelier as he slowly crept forward in line. He considered leaving the line and going to hang out with Byron.

When he got in, he was surprised to see how big the bar was. He wondered what kind of crowd it drew on the weekend nights. He seemed to recall this bar drew a lot of students from Stoneybrook University. The bar was big and square and smack in the middle of the floor. To one side of the bar there was a fairly large dance floor with a very small stage, which currently held a DJ instead of a band. Two other parallel sides of the bar had a few booths, all of which were currently occupied. The fourth side of the bar, the one closest to the front door, was mostly open, with a handful of tall round tables for people to gather. Although the booths were all full, most people were huddled around the tall tables.

Jeff looked around and gathered his bearings. He decided to sit at the bar and have a few drinks. Maybe he could meet someone. Marcus had told him once that gay men were the hot new accessory for straight girls, and said that Jeff was ridiculous for not trying to befriend more straight girls.

Jeff, for his part, always thought girls were a mystery and decided they were best left for straight guys to deal with. In fact, he was pretty sure it had been Marcus’ myriad straight-girl friends who’d probably convinced Marcus to break up with him.

So Jeff sat at the bar and ordered a beer, which he nursed slowly, glancing around the bar, seeing if there was anyone he recognized. Of course there wasn’t, and he was starting to curse himself for not trying to find someone to come along with him. He should have asked Adam or Jordan. They’d made it clear at the poker game that they were fine going to gay bars with Byron.

Jeff was on his third beer and paying very little attention to his surroundings, when someone sat next to him, and scooted the barstool uncomfortably close to him. “Jeff Schafer, let me buy you a beer.”

Jeff jumped a little in his seat and turned to see Jerry Haney sitting next to him. Jeff looked, shocked, at Jerry who looked very much like he did at sixteen. Perhaps a little pudgier and a little balder, but there was no mistaking who’d taken that seat. “Hi Jerry. No, thanks I’ve got my own.”

Jerry took Jeff’s beer bottle and held it up for the bartender to see and raised two fingers. “No big deal, I heard you were back in town and unemployed.”“I’m not unemployed anymore, I got a job. But, how’d you hear that?” Jeff had an urge to punch him in his stupid smug face again, just for good measure.

Jerry smiled and shrugged, “It’s Stoneybrook,” he explained. “Word gets around, you know.”

“Huh.”

The bartender came over and handed Jeff and Jerry each their beer. Jerry raised his bottle toward Jeff, “Drink up,” he said. They drank in silence for several minutes and Jeff drank his beer much faster than the previous three to cover up for the discomfort of the silence.

Finally, Jerry said “I knew I wasn’t wrong about you all those years ago.”

“What do you mean?” Jeff asked warily.

“When we were in high school. When I kissed you right before you skipped town. “

“Oh, that.”

“Right, that.” Jerry laughed a little. “I didn’t realize I’d had such an effect on you.”

Jeff turned to him, “Jesus Christ, Jerry. I was fifteen! How’d you think I would have reacted? I was barely out to myself, much less anyone else. I thought you were doing it so you could go tell your stupid football playing buddies that I kissed you and have them beat me up.”

Jerry raised his hands in surrender, “OK, fine. I was only sixteen, I was stupid too. Forgiven?”

Jeff looked at him in disgust. “Yeah, forgiven.” He turned slightly in his stool, away from Jerry to attempt to give Jerry a hint. Jerry did not take the hint.

“So what brings you in to my bar?” Jerry asked.

“Your bar?”

“Yep. I own it.”

Jeff paused “Seriously?”

“I bought it a couple years ago. I got an inheritance when my dad died and this is what I did with it.”

“But this bar was here when we were in high school.”

“It wasn’t this nice though,” Jerry said proudly. “It didn’t have gay Thursday.”

When Jeff still looked skeptical, Jerry added, “Why do you think I didn’t pay for the beer?”

“You have a tab?”

Jerry snorted. “No, I sign that bartender’s paycheck, is what.”

Jeff was still unsure. Byron hadn’t mentioned this. Then again, Byron tended to shut down at the first mention of Jerry, so he wouldn’t have mentioned it. But he could have said something to Jeff, maybe when Jeff asked him to come today, Byron could have given his real reason – that Jerry owned the bar.

Jerry waved the bartender over, “Two more of these, please Cory.” He held up the bottle of beer.

“Yes, sir,” Cory said and hurried to the small fridge behind the bar.

Jerry turned to Jeff, “See? He called me sir. Did he call you sir when you came in?”

“No,” Jeff admitted.

“Do I look like someone that would be called sir?”

Jeff gave the once-over to Jerry, seeing his jeans, too faded and slightly too baggy, and a button-up work shirt, also too baggy, with the sleeves rolled up.

“Did you lose weight recently?” Jeff asked suddenly. After asking it, he blushed a little. It was a stupid thing to say, but four beers in and he was starting to feel looser and light-headed.

Jerry looked at him oddly. “A little.”

Jeff nodded, “Your clothes are too loose.”

The bartender came back with their beers and set one in front of each of them. “Anything else?” he asked nervously, looking at Jerry, but glancing sideways at Jeff.

“No, Cory. Thanks.” Cory stood for a moment before turning to help another customer.

Jerry switched bottles with Jeff, “Here, in case he spit in yours.”

“Why would your bartender spit in my drink?” Jeff asked, suddenly and drunkenly curious about Jerry Haney and his bar.

“Because I am currently sleeping with my bartender, and he is a jealous little bitch who probably doesn’t like me here talking to you.”

“You’re sleeping with an employee?”

“I am.”

“You know that’s a bad idea, right?”

“Oh, I know. But you should see what this guy can do with his mouth.”

Jeff took a long swig of beer. “You’re going to get sued for sexual harassment, you know.”

“Nah,” Jerry waved his hand. “His family are Christian Fundamentalists. Admitting we slept together would be admitting he’s gay, and he’d be disowned for sure. They almost disowned him for daring to work in the evil industry of drunks. They don’t even know about Gay Thursday.”

“You’re a dick. You’re totally taking advantage of this kid.”

Jerry shrugged, “He’s twenty-one. He’s not a kid.”

Jeff shook his head. “This is totally fucked up, Jerry. He’s got this shitty home life, will probably be forced to marry a girl and get some dick on the side, and you could be...something more. You could be helpful, let him see that there’re people outside his family who could help him and care about him, but you’re just taking advantage of him.”

“He’s not complaining.”

“You think he spit in my beer.”

“I told you, he’s a jealous bitch.”

Jeff put his fifth beer bottle, now nearly empty, back down on the bar with a loud thud. Cory looked toward him quickly and brought a sixth bottle. “Thanks,” Jeff muttered. Jeff looked at Jerry and shook his head. “Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t know how else to be because his situation between home and here is such a mess. You shouldn’t screw with this kids’ head.”

“Oh my God. Could you stop with the lecture for just one second?” Jerry asked. Jeff bit his lip. “Good god, what happened to you that you think you’re the protector of every gay kid out there? Did you fuck around when you were twenty-one?”

“Not with my boss,” Jeff said snidely.

“But you did fuck around.”

“Sure.”

“That’s what this is, OK? We’re just fucking around.” When Jeff didn’t say anything, Jerry rolled his eyes. “Look, I’ve got to go check on the guys in the kitchen,” he took Jeff’s beer away and finished it. “Have something else to drink, I think the beer is depressing you.”

Jerry walked behind the bar and whispered something to Cory, while pointing to Jeff. Cory nodded and quickly mixed up a drink, which he brought over to Jeff.

“Thanks,” Jeff said.

“Jerry says that this will cheer you up.”

Jeff took a sip, Long Island Iced Tea. Oh for crying out loud. Jerry was treating him like a girl. Still, it didn’t stop Jeff from finishing it, probably too quickly and from Cory bringing him another two after that, which Jeff did, at least, have the judgment to finish a little slower.

Finishing the last two drinks slowly did very little to prevent Jeff from getting very drunk. By midnight, he was feeling drunker than he had since college, when he had a habit of getting plastered to the point of blacking out with alarming frequency.

So even though he knew he was drunk, and he knew he was making a bad decision, he did nothing to stop Jerry Haney from taking him upstairs to his apartment above the bar. He did nothing to stop Jerry from kissing him deeply, from pulling him onto the bed. And because it had been so long since he’d been touched, and it felt so damn good, he did nothing to stop Jerry when he pulled Jeff’s pants down and took him into his mouth. It felt good, and at the time Jeff was not about to stop Jerry. In fact, it felt so good, he happily and sloppily reciprocated.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff talks to everyone about what he did last night. Everyone except the one person he should be talking to.

Jeff groaned and grabbed his head. He honestly could not remember the last time he was so hungover. He reached out to grab the glass of water he always kept on the side table, but instead of hitting the table, his hand hit a soft mound of flesh.

Despite the headache, Jeff sat up quickly and remembered, with a gut-wrenching clarity, what he’d done last night. He was still in Jerry’s apartment, in Jerry’s bed. He lifted the covers, and realized he was still in Jerry’s bed pantsless. He groaned again, and buried his face in his hands.

This groan made Jerry stir slightly, and roll toward Jeff. Jeff was trapped between Jerry and the wall. There was almost no way he’d be able to sneak out of bed and grab his pants. And where were his pants anyway? He thought back. Last night had been so heady, and he’d been so anxious to get off, Jerry had gone down on him while he was pressed against the front door. They hadn’t even made it to the bed. No doubt, Jeff’s pants were in the living room by the front door.

Jeff carefully pushed the covers aside and slid downward, toward the foot of the bed. Jerry stirred again, but didn’t wake up. Jeff managed to slide the rest of the way and get his feet on the floor. He stood up and swayed on the spot, afraid he was going to fall back into the bed. His head ached and his stomach was lurching. Despite the feeling of nausea, Jeff’s first thought was overwhelming shame at passing out wearing nothing below his waist.

He tip-toed to the living room, and blessedly found his pants and boxer shorts tossed on the floor, barely a foot into the apartment. He pulled on his boxer shorts and zipped up his pants. He was looking around for his shoes, when from behind him, he heard Jerry say, “Leaving so soon?”

Jeff jumped slightly. “Yeah,” he croaked. His voice was hoarse. “I’ve got to get home.”

Jerry shrugged. “I could make us breakfast.”

Jeff’s stomach turned again. He clutched at his middle. “No thanks, I don’t think I can handle food right now.”

Jerry laughed at Jeff, “Yeah,” he said agreeably, “I noticed what a lightweight you are.”

Jeff shrugged uncomfortably. “Look,” he said. “About last night.” He cringed, About last night, he thought, what a cliché, and something I haven’t had to say since college!

“What about it?” Jerry asked

“It didn’t mean anything, right?”

Jerry raised his shoulders slightly, a sign that Jeff couldn’t read. “I guess.”

“It didn’t.”

“OK, sure,” Jerry said, sounding to Jeff, a little too agreeable.

“Listen, Jerry. Please don’t tell anyone what happened. I’m just – “ Jeff broke off for a moment. “I’m really good friends with Byron and I think this would just about kill him.”

Jerry narrowed his eyes. “You’re good friends with my ex?”

“Yeah,” Jeff admitted.

Jerry huffed. “You should tell him, you know.”

“What?” Jeff asked.

“You should tell him. If you’re really good friends, he’ll forgive you, right?”

“I….I don’t know.”

“You don’t even know how likely he is to forgive? Sounds like you don’t know him that well.”

Jeff thought for a moment, but his brain felt foggy, muddled. “Wait. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

Jerry scoffed. “For all his goody-two-shoes posturing, let’s just say Byron is a really unforgiving asshole.”

Before Jeff could process what Jerry said, he took the time to be impressed that Jerry actually used a word like ‘posturing’ in a sentence, and correctly too. “Even more a reason for you to not say anything.” Jeff said.

Jerry shrugged.

“Jerry, please.” Jeff said. “I’m begging you.”

Jerry narrowed his eyes at Jeff, “Are you fucking him?”

“What? No. We’re just friends.”

“Then that should be so much easier for him to forgive when you tell him what we did last night.” Jerry looked pointedly at Jeff.

Jeff shifted, looked around the floor and saw his shoes. He started putting his shoes on. “I’ll tell him,” he mumbled.

“Or I will.”

Jeff stood up, “You’re a fucking asshole,” he said in a severe voice, “You know that?”

Jerry laughed. “Yeah. That’s what I’ve been told.” He was wholly unconcerned over being outed as an asshole.

Jeff slammed the door behind him and walked down the stairs, very carefully to not bounce his head too much and into the chilly November air.

Despite the chill in the air, Jeff remained quite warm, his face was burning due to the blood pressure he could feel rising in anger. He was about at his boiling point when he walked into the house.

His mother was sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee. She raised her eyebrows in mild surprise as she looked at Jeff, “I didn’t even realize you didn’t come home last night.”

Jeff slid into a chair across the table from her and he put his head down on the table. “I’m magnificently hungover, mom.”

Sharon smiled and stood up. She smoothed Jeff’s hair off his face and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Let me get you some coffee,” she offered, in a motherly tone of voice. “How do you take it?

“Cream and sugar,” he said, suddenly blissfully happy to be mothered. He felt a little like a kid getting chicken soup for a runny nose and fever.

That feeling ended when Sharon put the mug in front of him and asked, “Who’d you go home with last night?” 

Jeff took a sip of coffee, immediately regretting it when it burnt his tongue badly. He sucked in his breath and waved a hand in front of his mouth. “I’d rather not talk about it,” he said.

“That bad, huh?” Sharon asked. And Jeff had to wonder what she was thinking. That they were a couple of girlfriends dishing about one night stands? She was his mother for God’s sake, he didn’t want to talk to her about it.

“Yeah,” Jeff said, willing to admit that, at least.

“Well,” Sharon shrugged. “I guess you had that coming.”

“What do you mean?” Jeff blew on the coffee to get it cooler. He really needed that coffee, his head was positively pounding.

“Just that you get to make a bad decision like this after a breakup. You were due for it.”

Before Jeff could talk more about that, Mary Anne walked through the door, carrying a slow cooker. “Brought your crock pot back, mom,” she said. Then she saw Jeff sitting there. “Oh hey, Jeff. You look like hell.”

Sharon reached down and smoothed Jeff’s hair again, though he didn’t enjoy it quite as much this time. “Jeff had a rough night. He just got in.”

“Oooh,” Mary Anne nodded knowingly. “Who’d you go home with?”

“I am not talking about this,” Jeff stressed. “I am way too hung over for this.”

Mary Anne glanced at Jeff’s mug and wrinkled her nose. “Don’t drink coffee for a hangover. You need Gatorade.”

“We’re fresh out,” Sharon said dryly. "Ever since Jeff quit soccer a mere fifteen years ago."

“I’ll be back in a few,” Mary Anne said, walking out the door.

“Gatorade?” Jeff asked Sharon. He clutched his forehead. “I’m going to the bathroom while we wait for her.”

Jeff felt too weak to even stand to pee, so he sat, his head firmly planted on his hands the whole time. Then it took several minutes for him to gather the energy to stand back up. As he washed his hands, he splashed a little water on his face. It didn’t help. He started to brush his teeth, but the taste of the mint and the pressure of his toothbrush made him feel like heaving, so he gave that up quickly.

By the time he made it back to the kitchen, Sharon had gone to shower, but Mary Anne was back with the Gatorade and a couple of pills. She silently held out the pills and the bottle to Jeff, who took them without complaint or even asking what they were.

The Gatorade was gross, overly sweet but watered down at the same time. But Jeff was willing to believe anything would work on a hang over at this point. “How’d you figure this out?” Jeff asked holding up the Gatorade.

“Oh,” she laughed a little. “In college I was friends with a lot of athletes, so Gatorade was just always around. Excedrin has tylenol and caffeine in it, so you don’t need the kick from coffee.”

“I hope it works,” Jeff said.

Mary Anne laughed again. “I’m sure it’ll work. I’ve known it to work.”

Jeff looked at Mary Anne a little curiously. He’d thought she was conservative. Nice, definitely, but not a person you’d consider fun. Not someone you’d think would need to know about hangover cures and hanging out with college athletes. “Thanks,” he said and continued drinking.

“So, really. What’d you do last night?” she asked.

Jeff looked at the kitchen entrance, not wanting to admit in front of his mother what he’d done. He thought Mary Anne might be nicer about it – might even be able to help him.

“I went to The Eagle’s Nest and I drank too much and I went home with Jerry Haney,” he admitted.

“And I’m guessing you and Jerry Haney didn’t spend the night playing Tiddlywinks,” she said.

“If by Tiddlywinks you mean sucking dick, then yes.” Jeff answered without thinking.

“Really? Oh, wow.” Mary Anne said.

Jeff blushed crimson. “Sorry. That was probably way TMI, way too crude. I’m not thinking straight right now.”

“No,” Mary Anne said, reassuringly. “It’s OK. I don’t mind, actually. It’s how I talk with my friends, and we should be able to talk like that too, right?”

Jeff looked at Mary Anne for a moment. “That would have killed Dawn to hear me talk about sucking dick.”

Mary Anne smiled, “We’re step-siblings. She probably still thinks of you as a baby. But I didn’t even know you until we were thirteen and ten. So,” she shrugged.

“So I can talk about things like that.”

“Yeah.”

“OK, so let me tell you about this Jerry thing.” Jeff began. He lowered his head slightly and began to talk. He started with how he’d become friends, but nothing more, with Byron and how Byron used to date Jerry and there was no love lost there. He talked about how he ended up going to the bar alone, and seeing Jerry, and how Jerry was the boss and Jerry’s attitude toward his employee, Cory, and how drunk he got and ended up back at Jerry’s apartment. He concluded with the conversation he’d just had less than an hour ago. That it seemed like Jerry was saying to him that he’d better tell Byron, or else he, Jerry, would. “I really screwed the pooch,” Jeff admitted.

“Well, Jerry is a dog,” Mary Anne said.

“Har har,” Jeff replied sarcastically.

Mary Anne smiled. “Look. Yes, you fucked up. But why not just tell Byron about it?”

“Because he’ll be mad.”

“But if he hears it from you and he sees how sorry you are, he’ll be way more likely to forgive you than if he hears it from Jerry, right?”

“I guess.”

“So why not tell him?”

Jeff twisted his head back and forth, trying to work out some kinks in his neck muscles. “Because, even though I regret doing what I did with Jerry last night, part of me doesn’t think it’s really something I really need to apologize to Byron for.”

“Why do you regret doing it?”

“Because Jerry’s an asshole and I acted way too anxious to have him in my pants and I probably just gave him an even higher opinion of himself.”

“And Byron?”

“Byron broke up with him years ago. I know Byron’s going to be mad, and I don’t want him to be mad at me because we’re friends. But I think his anger is really unreasonable.”

“But you don’t even know if he is angry yet,” Mary Anne pointed out.

“Right. I don’t. But I’m fairly certain he will be, and Jerry was definitely certain he will be.”

“Look, when you talk to Byron, don’t go into it with this attitude. Because you already sound hugely defensive. And that’s going to make him even angrier. If he’s angry, be open to why he is angry and be sincerely apologetic.”

Jeff was quiet for a moment and stared into space. “What if he’s so angry he really doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” he asked quietly.

Mary Anne looked sympathetic and shrugged. “Maybe he wasn’t that good a friend to begin with?”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve had a really good friend,” Jeff admitted. “I must be a little bit rusty.”

“You have friends.”

Jeff shook his head slowly. “All of my friends in Palo were really Marcus’ friends. I had friends at one point, but they sort of disappeared after I moved in with Marcus. Marcus’ friends stuck around though, and they became my friends. Just by proxy, I guess. When Marcus left, he took all his friends with him.”

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Really? The saddest? Your dad died just a few months ago, and this is what makes you sad?”

“Not that type of sad,” Mary Anne pointed out.

“You mean pathetic. It’s the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard.”

“Not that either.”

“No, you can say it. I managed to get to thirty and have zero friends. That is pathetic.”

“But it’s also all the more reason to make this apology to Byron count,” Mary Anne said forcefully. “Don’t fuck this up for your own sake, Jeff.”

He paused. “That is a really good point.” After another moment, he stood up. “I feel a tiny bit better. I think I’m going to shower.”

Mary Anne smiled, “I swear by my hangover concoction.” She stood also. “Go shower. I’ll make some toast and eggs for breakfast.”

_______

Jeff went to shower, feeling only slightly better physically, but like an emotional weight had been lifted off him. It was Friday, Byron’s day off. Jeff thought perhaps he should go over to his apartment and talk with him that very day.

Jeff didn’t call Byron. After a shower and breakfast and a little more Tylenol, he began to feel much better. So much so that when Eduardo called and asked him to cover a shift that afternoon, Jeff happily agreed. 

The shame that Jeff felt after leaving Jerry’s apartment this morning began to slowly dissipate   
throughout the day. The more he thought about it, and as hard as he tried not to, he kept thinking about it, he figured that Byron would be understanding. In fact, he decided he might wait a day or two before telling Byron at all. 

Jordan came in to Electronics Emporium later that day, shortly before Jeff was finishing up with his shift. He looked happy to see Jeff, and invited him to the next Pike brothers’ poker game, which was one week from that day. Jeff was scheduled to be off work by four o’clock, so he happily agreed. 

By the time Jeff finished with his last customer and punched out, he was leaving right at the same time Jordan was heading out, a bag with two new video games in hand. “Want to get some dinner?” Jordan asked. 

“Sure,” Jeff said. 

Jeff got in his car and followed Jordan downtown, where he parked right on Market Street, just a few blocks away from their houses. “This okay?” he asked when Jeff got out of his car, parked just across the street. 

“Yeah. The Rosebud still good?”

“Best in Stoneybrook,” Jordan assured him. Jeff was pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

It was slightly early for dinner on a Friday evening, not quite six o’clock, so Jordan and Jeff were able to get a table right away. It was next to the window, and they were able to watch the people walk by. 

They made small talk for a while. Talking about Jeff’s new job, about Jordan’s job as a high school science teacher, at the exact same high school he attended fifteen years prior. “Are there still some of the same teachers there?” Jeff asked in wonder. 

“Oh yeah. Probably a good quarter of the teachers were there when I was a student.”

“How weird is that?”

“So strange at first. I mean, I’m used to it now. But at first Mr. Geary loved to remind me about all the shit I pulled in gym class as a kid.” Jordan chuckled a little. 

“I always hated gym teachers,” Jeff said. 

“Oh yeah?” Jordan asked, genuinely surprised. “I kind of liked him.”

Jeff shrugged, “Ask Byron, he probably hated him too.”

“You think?”

“Gay kids always hate the male gym teachers, who are all former jocks. Female gym teachers on the other hand, are OK. Mostly they’re lesbians.”

Jordan laughed a little. “I guess I never thought of it. Interesting, I’m going to ask Byron about it next time I see him.”

Jeff looked out the window for a while, and saw Jerry pass by, presumably on the way to his bar which was just two blocks down Market Street. Jeff made a disgusted face and Jordan turned to see what he was looking at. “Ugh,” Jordan said nodding his head. “I really fucking hate that guy.”

“What’s the deal with him and Byron anyway?”

“Jerry was a real asshole when they were going out. Byron hadn’t come out to anyone except me and Adam. The rest of our family didn’t know, and Byron was real torn up about it. Jerry was always such a bully, you know? And I think Byron just didn’t know any other gay guys except Jerry, so he just thought he should probably just stick with him.”

Jeff nodded knowingly. “Been there, done that.”

“So Jerry started really being a dick about Byron coming out, and we were, like twenty? Maybe even nineteen at the time and he just wasn’t ready.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Jeff said, taking a sip of his beer. 

“So Jerry came out for him.”

“What?” Jeff put his beer down with a thud.

“Yeah, isn’t it like gay code to not force another gay to come out?”

“It is. How’d Jerry do it?”

“He just came by the house one night when everyone was home. It must have been summer time, because everyone was there, including me, Mallory and Adam and Byron, who were all college students at the time. He rang the doorbell, and mom answered and he asked for Byron, who came out and got all nervous that he was there. And Jerry was like ‘Don’t you have something to tell your family?’ and Byron was like ‘No way.’”

“God,” Jeff said, his stomach clenching uncomfortably.

“Yeah,” Jordan nodded. “So Jerry kept asking and Byron kept saying no and he started crying. And by this time everyone was near the front door and was watching. Then Jerry got stupid and angry and shouted that he couldn’t date anyone who was too ashamed to tell his parents he’s gay. And he turned and walked away, leaving everyone staring uncomfortably at Byron.”

“Oh my God.” Jeff said. Everyone deserved the coming out they wanted, and it sickened him   
to hear about a good guy like Byron going through this. 

“Right? So Byron ran upstairs and he wouldn’t talk to anyone except Nick the rest of the night.   
He just stayed in bed crying all night. So I went to talk to mom and dad and I told them that he is really gay, and that he’d told me and Adam about a year earlier.”

“How were they?”

“Oh, fine. My whole family was fine. I don’t know why Byron was so secretive in the first place. I mean, my parents are the good guys.”

“Shit,” Jeff said, which had nothing to do with the story he’d just heard, but everything to do with what he’d done the other night. 

“Yeah,” Jordan agreed, not really knowing what Jeff was referring to. “But our parents were   
good, and they helped him see that Jerry was an ass, and he didn’t have to put up with his shit. Jerry’s not, you know, very nice to people.”

“Fuck,” Jeff said holding his head heavily in his hands. “Fuck, Jordan. I did something really stupid.”

“Huh?”

Before Jeff could start the waitress came with their food. Jeff gratefully began eating as a way to think about what he was going to say to Jordan. They ate in silence for a few moments before Jordan spoke up. “What were you going to say?”

“I did something stupid,” Jeff paused. Jordan didn’t say anything, but looked at him questioningly, his bright blue eyes reminding Jeff very much of Byron’s at the moment. “I   
went to The Eagle’s Nest last night.”

“Oh no.” Jordan put his quesadilla down and stared at Jeff. 

Jeff nodded. “I went home with Jerry,” he admitted. 

Jordan looked at him in disbelief for a few moments, “Why the fuck would you do that?”

Jeff bit his lip and thought. He didn’t really know why he’d done it. Finally he shrugged, “I was really drunk.”

Jordan looked down, “Did you...?” he drifted off.

“Did I what?” Jeff asked, genuinely confused until Jordan gave him a severe look. “Oh! Did I sleep with him? I...yes.” He ended the statement so it sounded more like a question.

“Why would you do that?” Jordan asked for a second time. 

“Really really drunk,” Jeff reminded him, trying hard to defend his actions. 

Jordan picked up his food and began picking at it slowly. “So, what’re you going to do?”

“That’s the thing,” Jeff began. “Jerry sort of told me I had to tell Byron or else he would.”

“You’d better tell him.”

“Jordan, I don’t know.”

“Word gets around in Stoneybrook. Who saw you leave with Jerry last night?”

“I don’t know. Whoever was there still and was actually paying attention. I was too drunk to   
realize.”

“OK. Someone saw you. Someone who knows Byron and will tell him as soon as he finds out   
that you’re friends with us. This is a small town, Jeff. It’s not Los Angeles where you can be anonymous. People know each other here and people talk to each other.”

“Shit,” Jeff said. “If it helps, I very much hate myself right now.”

“OK, let me help,” Jordan said. “When you tell him, you need to play up two things, OK? Well, really just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That you’re fresh off a breakup and a job loss. You were feeling really down and drowning your sorrows. Byron’s a sucker for a sob story, if you tell it right, you can actually get his sympathy. But really play up the whole breakup thing, because everyone gets one rebound fuck after a breakup.”

“A rebound fuck,” Jeff repeated, wondering if that’s what his mother had been talking about that morning. He nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“But listen, Jeff. He’s still gonna be super pissed. Jerry’s his ex. And not just an ex, but an ex that was really awful and mean to him.”

“I get it, the guy’s a total dick.”

“No, I mean he’s like the whole reason Byron has trust issues. He’s, like, crazy fucked up from this one relationship. It’s scary.”

“So Jerry cheated on him, right?”

“I don’t know a lot of details,” Jordan admitted. 

“I’m sure he did. Last night he told me he’s sleeping with one of his bartenders, then he took me home, and shit. I’ll bet the bartender saw us,” Jeff concluded. 

“Who was it?”

“Some young blonde kid, Cory. Thin as a rail? Jerry said his family were Christian Fundies.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know him, maybe that means Byron doesn’t either.”

“Good,” Jeff murmured. 

“Still,” Jordan continued. “You’ve got to tell him sooner rather than later.”

“I will,” Jeff said.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff continues to be very very dumb.

When Jeff got home from dinner with Jordan that night, he had every intention of calling Byron immediately. Maybe asking to meet him for drinks. Not at The Eagle’s Nest, obviously, probably closer to Stamford, but he never got a chance.

Dawn called. Jeff missed Dawn. They’d hung out regularly when he lived in Palo, but had barely talked to each other since he’d moved back east.

“Dawn, I can’t talk right now,” Jeff insisted.

“You have to go to work?” She asked. Then without waiting for an answer, she went on, “Mom had to tell me about your job, by the way. You couldn’t call? Text? Email? Telegram?”

“Sorry. It’s not, like, a career. It’s just a low-wage job.”

“A job’s a job.”

“Right. Listen. I have to go, I need to call a friend.”

“No way. I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Your friend can wait.”

“You know what?” Jeff said, with sudden realization. “He can wait.”

“Is this a very special friend?” Dawn asked.

“Not like that,” Jeff answered. “Just a good friend, nothing more.”

“Have you met anyone?”

“Have you?”

“Always. But don’t change the subject. Have you met anyone?”

“No. It’s too soon after Marcus.”

“Nah.”

“Dawn, I’m not you.”

“So what have you been doing?” Jeff didn’t answer for several long moments, and Dawn continued, sounding resigned, “Jeff, what did you do?”

“How’d you know?”

“You get silent when you’ve done something wrong, you have since we were kids. It’s the only time I hear you speechless. So spill it, tell me what you did.”

So Jeff did. Haltingly, he told her the whole story of meeting back up with Byron, and their poker games, and hanging out with Byron, and Byron’s ex, Jerry, and how Jeff had gone home with Jerry the night before.

“Way to screw the pooch on that one, Jeff.”

“That’s exactly what I said to Mary Anne this morning,” Jeff mused. “That I really screwed the pooch.”

“You told Mary Anne?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Is that a problem?” Jeff asked, considering for the first time that Dawn could be jealous of his burgeoning friendship with their stepsister. “I mean, she came over and I was wicked hungover, and I just told her.”

“What’d she say?”

“That I need to tell Byron. And, “Jeff continued, “She doesn’t mind when I make dick-sucking jokes to her.”

“Ugh,” Dawn said. “I don’t care that you do it, I just don’t need to hear about it. And anyway. I think everyone’s wrong. I think you shouldn’t tell Byron.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, what’s there to gain? Call Jerry’s bluff – he probably won’t tell.”

"Why do you think he won't?"

"Because," Dawn answered as though it were obvious, "He doesn't exactly come off smelling like roses in this situation, does he? I mean one could argue that he got you drunk with the intention of taking you home. Not to mention how he's treating that Cory kid."

"I don't think Jerry cares so much that people think he's a dick."

"It seems like he cares a lot about what Byron thinks still. Otherwise he wouldn't give a shit if you told Byron anything."

Jeff was silent for a moment and Dawn asked, "Are you there?"

"Yeah. I'm just thinking about what you said."

"I'm right."

"Maybe."

"I am. Jeff, trust me."

"I do. I think you're right." Jeff assured her. But in his mind, he was more confused than ever.

Mary Anne and Jordan had both insisted he confess to Byron, and he assumed that was what was the right thing to do. But Dawn's take on it did make some sense. Why would Jerry care so much about whether Byron knew? And, if you could argue that he did care that deeply, it would mean that he wouldn't want to come off looking bad to Byron, so he wouldn't be likely to tell. It was a circuitous logic, and it didn't take into account that Jerry was just not a nice guy, but, for a while anyway, Jeff was willing to take it.

__

 

Jeff went to work on Saturday in the late afternoon. He had a closing shift at the store, working with Eduardo. Jeff had come to like Eduardo, not just as a boss, but as a really nice,earnest guy. He kind of reminded Jeff of Byron, but less quiet.

It was a slow night at the store, and Eduardo told Jeff that a girl named Ellisay had a crush on him. "Who's Ellisay?" Jeff asked.

"You know, Ellisay. She's working at register four right now."

Jeff looked over. "I thought her name was pronounced Elise."

"No man. She's Hispanic, it's pronounced Eh-lee-say."

"Huh."

"You should ask her out."

"No thanks."

"Why not?"

"She's not my type," Jeff said.

Eduardo looked slightly offended. "What, you got something against hispanics?"

"What? No!" Jeff said quickly, not wanting to be branded racist. "I don't have anythingagainst any group at all. My last boyfriend was black," Jeff explained, hoping Eduardo would understand that Jeff was telling he was both not racist _and_ not straight.

Eduardo looked at him strangely for just a moment, when a look of clarity rang across his face, "Ooooh," he said, drawing the syllable out. "I get it." He put his hands in his pocket and rocked a little, back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"All right. I just don't want to offend you by not asking Elise out. I want you to know it's not because she's Hispanic."

"It's because she's a woman," Eduardo clarified.

"Right." Jeff answered.

"OK," Eduardo looked like he didn't know what else to say.

Jeff genuinely did not like making Eduardo feel uncomfortable, and he didn't know if talking about it more would make Eduardo more uncomfortable, or if ignoring it and changing the subject would just make it worse. Finally, he just asked, "Are we cool?"

"Oh, yeah," Eduardo said. "It's fine. I'm just surprised, is all. I have a cousin who is, you know, gay, also. And you are just..." he drifted off, "nothing like him."

"Yeah?" Jeff asked, without really wanting Eduardo to go into detail, because he was pretty sure he knew where it was going, and he knew it would do nothing more than make him annoyed at Eduardo, and he didn't want to be annoyed with Eduardo. If Eduardo was going to say that his cousin loved Broadway, or Streisand, or, God forbid, was a drag queen, he wouldn't know what to say. Because Eduardo was his boss, and he couldn't very well be rude.

But all Eduardo said was, "Yeah," nodding his head. "If you want to be set up ever...?"

"Thanks, but no," Jeff said firmly. "I was with this last guy for five years and I'm not ready for anything else yet."

"OK. Let me know, though. Because my cousin, Nelson, he's a real good dude, and my family isn't so cool with him."

"You are?"

Eduardo shrugged, "I don't care. It's not my business. Mostly, you know, it's the older generation."

"Yeah, I hear that."

"You too?"

Jeff shrugged. "It's what you see. No one under the age of forty cares.

At that moment, a customer came up carrying a laptop and looking desperate. Jeff was grateful for the excuse to leave the very uncomfortable conversation with Eduardo and help a customer.

__

 

After closing on Saturday, Jeff had to work on Sunday morning, but this day he was working on the road, meaning he had to drive the company car - a Smart Car which was gaudy with the Fixit Geeks symbol - to people's houses to fix their computers.It was a long day filled with cleaning viruses off of people's computers, telling them they need to buy protection, and not telling them what he wanted to - which was that if you want to look at porn, you have to pay for it. Otherwise, you're just opening viruses.

By the time he got home, he was exhausted and crashed on the couch. His mom wasn't at home, she'd left a note saying she was at Mary Anne's for dinner and inviting him to come along. Jeff considered it, but thought he'd really like to have a few hours to himself. Though he did like spending time at Mary Anne's house, her sons commandeered his time and they were absolutely exhausting and full of energy.

So Jeff took a quick shower and began making himself a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.

He'd just flipped the sandwich over when there was a knock on the door. He ran to get it, and was surprised to see Byron standing there.

He opened the door for Byron, "Come on in," he invited him. "I'm making a quick dinner," Jeff said turning to walk to the kitchen. When he was sure Byron was following he said, "Do you want anything?"

"No." Byron said. He sat at the table and watched Jeff slip the sandwich off the griddle and pour himself a glass of milk. "Look," Byron said. "I just came to tell you that I saw Jerry Haney this afternoon."

Jeff had just swallowed his first bite of sandwich and nearly choked on it. His stomach clenched uncomfortably around the food. "Byron," Jeff began slowly. "Look."

Byron stood up quickly. "No. You know. I just don't want to hear it."

"I was really really drunk," Jeff said.

"I don't care," Byron said vehemently. "I really don't. I just....God, Jeff. I thought we were friends. Jerry is my ex!"

"I know! I was using really bad judgment," Jeff was struggling to remember what Jordan told him to say, what the best way to get Byron to understand was.

While he was struggling, he was only able to half concentrate on what Byron was saying, "I told you he was an asshole. It’s like you don’t listen to, or don’t care, what I’m saying. You don’t care about my feelings at all, and Jeff are you even listening to me?”

“Huh?” Jeff said, right as he remembered Jordan talking about rebound fucks. “Yes. Of course I’m listening. Listen, this wasn’t, I don’t know. I’m not getting together with Jerry and I know he’s an asshole. I knew it when I followed him to his apartment. I’m just.... I don’t know. I think I’m still smarting from being dumped.”

“Oh, boo-hoo,” Byron said sarcastically.  Jeff wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Byron use sarcasm. “Everyone gets dumped, but not everyone who gets dumped goes and sleeps with their friends’ ex.”

“I know. I’m sorry, God you have no idea how sorry I am.”

“Are you sorry you got caught, or actually sorry you did it?”

“I’m sorry I did it.” Jeff assured him quickly. “I woke up the next morning sorry and I’ve been sorry ever since.”

“So why didn’t you tell me?”

“I know, I should have told you. Jordan told me I should, and-“

Byron cut him off, “You told Jordan?”

“I....yeah. I thought maybe he clued you in?”

“No. Why the fuck would you tell my brother, but not me?”

“He came into Electronics Emporium on Friday night, right as I was getting off work. We went grabbed a bite at Rosebud, and I saw Jerry walking by on Market Street. It kind of worked its way into our conversation.”

“And he told you to tell me?”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t?”

“Well, then I got confused because I talked to Dawn and she said I shouldn’t tell you.”

Byron closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Why did she say to do that?”

“Because, she insisted Jerry was bluffing, which I can see now he wasn’t, but at the time, her logic seemed impeccable.”

“What do you mean Jerry was bluffing. Bluffing about what?”

“Wait, how much do you know?”

“I saw Jerry and he told me you two hooked up on Thursday night.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“OK, I was there, I mean I was at the bar and I was already drinking. But I wasn’t having a good time, and Jerry came over. And, God, you’re right about him. He’s such an asshole. He bought me all these drinks and was bragging about owning the bar and how he was banging his bartender, who’s this sad little guy from some super religious family. And I was piss drunk. I can’t emphasize enough how incredibly drunk I was. So he invited me to his apartment upstairs and I followed him, and we just...we went down on each other. And then I fell asleep. The next morning, I asked him not to say anything to you, and he told me that if I didn’t tell you, he would.”

“You didn’t want me to know?”

“I wanted to protect you, because I am never going to do something like that again.”

“So why did you think he wouldn’t tell me?”

“I don’t even remember why I thought that. Because Dawn said I should call his bluff.”

“No offense, Jeff. Your sister’s an idiot. Jerry Haney wants nothing more than to hurt me. He probably slept with you _because_ he knew we were friends again and he explicitly wanted to hurt me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Byron stood up. “I just. I can’t deal with this right now. It’s hard enough putting an abusive asshole ex behind me without you making it so much worse.”

Jeff bit his lip. He thought Jordan had told him quite a lot about Byron and Jerry’s relationship. But hearing Byron describe it as abusive made him incredibly sad and beyond remorseful.

In the few months that Jeff had been back in town, Byron had quickly become his closest friend. And friendship was something that had been lacking in California. In California, he’d had Marcus, of course, and Dawn, who was a constant in his life, as well as his co-workers who he liked a lot though mostly as acquaintances. But there weren’t a lot of guys he could call friends.

And in the last few months, he was starting to see why Marcus thought he was too reliant on him. Because all of Marcus’ friends from before he’d met Jeff were still his friends. But Jeff’s had all fallen by the wayside, and he became friends with Marcus’ friends. And, of course, when their relationship ended, the friends remained firmly in Marcus’ corner.

Byron started to leave, and Jeff grabbed onto his arm, “By, wait,” he begged.

“No. I’m leaving,” Byron said, and walked out the door into the cool night air

Jeff watched him go. He had to almost physically restrain himself from running after Byron, because he didn’t even know what he wanted more - to catch up to Byron so he could punch him.

Or so he could kiss him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Babysitters100. Prompt: Kitchen

Jeff woke up on Monday morning already dreading the day. He'd spent the rest of the previous evening going over and over his argument with Byron in his head, and he didn't see any way of repairing their friendship.

He’d also been thinking of a particular moment a few years earlier. He and Marcus were having a party to celebrate a promotion Marcus had gotten at work.

Wine, beer, and liquor lined the kitchen counter, the dining room table was stuffed with finger foods and hors d’ourves, and the entire apartment had been scrubbed to within an inch of its life, mostly by Marcus.

By nine o’clock, their apartment was packed full. Jeff was standing in a corner, talking to Dawn, who’d come alone after breaking things off with Robert, the nerdy museum curator that no one except Marcus seemed to like.

“I don’t know many of these people,” Dawn mentioned to Jeff.

Jeff began pointing people out, “Over there is Marcus’ boss, Matt and his wife, they’re talking to a couple of his co-workers, I think that’s Fiona and Simon. Then um, over there talking to Marcus is his best friend, Lydia and I don’t know the girl next to her, I guess she’s Lydia’s friend? Then over there by the wine are Chaz, Rick, and Terrence. They’re Marcus’ college friends. Um, right there in the corner are our neighbors, Greg and Lauren, then Carrie and Phil.”

Dawn was giving Jeff a weird look. “What?” he asked

“Are any of your friends here?”

“You’re here,” he said with a smile.

“I know, but what about Shane and Mike? I always liked them.”

Jeff shrugged. “I haven’t seen them in a while. They moved a while ago.”

“OK. What about Smitty? You guys were inseparable since Freshman year in college.”

Jeff shrugged again, “Dawn. People change, OK? I haven’t talked to Smitty in a while, I thought it’d be weird to invite him.”

“Do you notice a pattern here?”

“What?”

“Everyone here is Marcus’ friend.”

“That’s not fair,” Jeff argued. “The neighbors are friends with both of us, and I did invite a couple of work friends who couldn’t come. And you’re here.”

“I still think you should’ve invited Smitty.”

“What’s the big deal?”

Dawn made a face and shrugged. “Nothing, I guess. As long as you’re happy.”

Jeff stared at her for several moments. “Of course I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just do me a favor, OK? Call Smitty. I’m afraid you’ve let all Marcus’ friends become your friends.”

“They’re both of our friends.”

Dawn shook her head, “You need your own friends. Who do you complain to about Marcus?”

“I don’t complain about him.”

“You should.”

“Why? What’s he ever done to you?”

“Nothing,” Dawn quickly assured him. “It’s just that no one’s perfect and when he drives you bonkers, you need someone to vent to.”

Jeff sniffed, “Maybe that’s your problem. You find people you need to complain about.”

Dawn looked at him for a few moments, considering. “Maybe you’re right,” she said finally. It reminded Jeff of all the times when they were kids, worrying about their parents’ getting divorced, and Dawn would acquiesce whenever Jeff would insist that they probably wouldn’t separate.

 Jeff lay in bed, thinking about that moment, and realizing that Dawn had been absolutely right. He had let all of his friends fall away when he moved in with Marcus. Smitty had been Jeff’s freshman year roommate and they’d gotten along perfectly. Smitty had been his closest friend for so long, and Jeff had just let him go.

Then someone else came along. And Byron was every bit as good a friend as Smitty. And even though Jeff wanted to kiss him at weirdly inappropriate times, it didn’t stop him from considering Byron his best friend. But now, rather than letting this friendship fizzle away, he’d found a way to let it explode. It exploded in the space of one evening, with one bad drunken decision.

He waited until his mother had left for work before heading downstairs to eat breakfast. He couldn't help but smile when he saw a stack of pancakes sitting on the table with a note from his mom. Jeff - I made pancakes this morning, but couldn't eat them all myself. Help yourself. Love, Mom.

It wasn't just the pancakes that made him grin, it was that his mother had obviously been doing much better since returning to work. That made Jeff genuinely happy.

Jeff picked three pancakes off the stack, stuck them in the microwave for a few seconds and grabbed the butter and syrup. The coffee in the pot was still hot, so he poured himself a cup and added a spoonful of sugar. He did this all methodically, trying his hardest not to think about his fight with Byron.

But when he sat down to eat, and had no book or no TV to distract him, he found himself thinking. The thing he thought about most was how close he'd become to Byron the last few months. And how he hadn’t had that since Smitty, and how much he’d liked having a friend. And God, if Byron would just talk to him, Jeff swore he’d completely forget about the weird more-than-friends feelings he’d been noticing here and there.

All of a sudden, it seemed completely unfair that Byron was acting the way he did. Jeff thought hard and truly believed that if roles had been reversed, he would have forgiven Byron in a second, or at least after a round of arguments. He would have had his say, heard a genuine and sincere apology and accepted it, like a gentleman.

The pancakes sitting like lead in his stomach now, Jeff got up to shower and to think some more. The more he thought, the more agitated he became. The more agitated he became, the more he began to think that maybe moving to Stoneybrook had been a bad idea. He'd come back for a fresh start, and just as he was starting to think that maybe he was getting a fresh start with a new job, friendships with Byron, and the other Pikes, Mary Anne and even Eduardo, and seeing his mother get back on her feet he'd gone and fucked everything up.

He pulled out his phone and thought who he should call. Jordan was at work. Mary Anne had to take Joshua to the physical therapist this morning. It was too early to call Dawn on the west coast. Eduardo wasn't exactly a close friend. Jeff sadly realized that the person whom he'd been able to talk things through was Byron and he wouldn't be able to talk to Byron about this.

Jeff didn't have to work that day, but with nothing to do, he needed to keep busy to keep his mind off what he was really thinking. So he started cleaning. He opened up the refrigerator and threw old leftovers, wiped the shelves and gagged to find a container of Richard's yogurt hidden in the back, now expired by nearly half a year.

Then he moved on to the kitchen floor, sweeping and mopping until the tile shone. After he finished in the kitchen, he got out the vacuum cleaner and ran it through the whole house. He changed and washed the sheets on his bed and his mother's bed. He worked almost frantically throughout the day, stopping only for lunch.

He was busy alphabetizing the books on the bookcase when his mother walked in the door. She looked around, "It looks nice in here," she said. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Hi," Jeff said, looking up from his crouched position on the living room floor. "No, I just didn't work today, so I thought I'd help out."

Sharon leaned down and kissed his forehead, "Well, I appreciate it."

Jeff leaned in to her kiss and smiled, but he remained frozen when she pulled away. "Mom," he started. "I think I might need to move back to California."

Sharon, who had been walking back to the kitchen stopped and turned to Jeff, “I knew something was off ever since you came home the other morning hungover. You’re breaking my heart here.” She walked into the kitchen.

Jeff stood up and followed her. “Look, Mom. I just made a mess of things here. I came here because I thought I needed a fresh start. But I fucked up and my only friend out here is mad as hell at me.”

“So....” Sharon trailed off. “Why do you have to go back to California?”

Jeff shrugged. “I’m not as good at the fresh start thing as I thought.”

“What’s waiting for you in California? A good job? Marcus?”

“This isn’t about Marcus.”

“Then what?”

Jeff shrugged. “I messed up. I really did, and I hurt Byron’s feelings.”

“So why do you have to move back to California?”

“Because.” Jeff was unsure how to tell her this. “Stoneybrook is such a small town and everyone knows everyone else. And things like this wouldn’t have happened in California.”

“I’m lost,” Sharon shrugged. “I don’t even know what happened.”

“You’ll be so disappointed in me.”

“So?”

Jeff looked at his mother. He couldn’t believe her. It was almost as if she was daring him to say something –daring him to shock and disappoint her. So he didn’t hold back and said in his most blunt, matter of fact voice, “I got drunk and slept with Jerry Haney.”

Without missing a beat, Sharon replied, “And you wouldn’t have done that in California?”

“No, I do stupid shit all the time, no matter where I live. But it became this thing because we live in such a small town and everyone is up in everyone else’s business.”

“Sounds to me like you’re blaming Stoneybrook for a problem you caused.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that,” he explained. “It’s just in California if I’d gotten drunk and gone home with someone, the chances of it being my best friend’s ex are way, way lower.”

“So you’re moving back because when you get drunk and sleep with somebody you want to make sure he’s a perfect stranger with no ties to anyone you know.”

“Well, that would be nice, but no. That’s not really why I want to move back.”

“You’ve got to give me a little more help here, Jeff. Because I’m not quite getting it.”

Jeff stood up, frustrated. “Mom, I can’t explain this. Things were just always better for me in California. My childhood was better, college was better, being with Marcus was better.”

“So why’d you move back here in the first place?”

“Because I let things with Marcus go so wrong I’d lost all connection with anyone who wasn’t him. I lost my job and had no idea how to find a new one. I was....” Jeff looked for the right word. “I was lost, but I didn’t know what from or where to go and I just had this need, this urge for a fresh start.”

“So you came here.”

“Yes,” Jeff said, relieved that maybe she’d gotten it.

“Do you think you’ve gotten a fresh start?”

“Yes. And I think I fucked it up, so I might as well go back to where I belong.”

“Jeff,” Sharon said. “I want you to be happy. And if going to California is what will make you happy, that’s where I want you to be. That’s why I never argued with either you or Dawn when you said you wanted to move back, because I probably shouldn’t have moved you out here in the first place. I’ve always felt guilty about that.”

“It’s....it’s OK, Mom.” Jeff assured her.

“And I kind of suddenly realize what’s going on here,” she sat up straighter.

“What?”

“My marriage fell apart in California and I ran back to my parents here in Stoneybrook. Your relationship with Marcus fell apart and you ran back here to me.”

“It’s different,” Jeff stressed. “You ran back home, I ran away from home.”

“But we both ran away from our problems.”

“I guess.”

“I found a life here, Jeff. With Richard and Mary Anne and my job. I’m not forcing Stoneybrook on you. And if you think you’ll be happy in California, that’s where I want you to go. But I want you to go for the right reasons. Don’t leave here because of one fight with one friend. If getting drunk and sleeping with a friend’s ex is something you really never do, and this was a one time thing, Byron will come around.”

“You think?”

“You’ve only been in town for, what? Three months?” Sharon asked.

“Three months plus a couple weeks.”

“You’ve carved something out for yourself here. You reconnected with the triplets, you and Mary Anne are closer than I ever dreamed possible. You have a job that you seem to like even if it doesn’t pay as well as your old job, and I met your boss that one time when I was in the store. That kid may be your boss, but he is nine years younger than you and he idolizes you. All this stuff, are you really going to let Jerry Haney ruin it for you? Does Jerry have that much power?”

Jeff sat still for a few moments, staring at his hands resting on the kitchen table in front of him. “I’m reconsidering now.”

Sharon wiped her hand across her forehead, as though she was relieved. “It only took thirty years, but I finally had a kid take my advice.”

Jeff stood behind her chair and put his hands on her shoulders, “Don’t get too cocky,” he said. “I’m only reconsidering, I haven’t made an actual decision.”

“Oh, well of course. Any decision you make has to be yours, not your mother’s.” She said sarcastically as she stood up and started rooting through the refrigerator for dinner. “Where’d the leftover soy-loaf from last night go?”

“Oh,” Jeff said, shocked to have the conversation come to such an abrupt halt. “I think I threw it away when I was cleaning. I thought it was probably old.”

Sharon’s head remained firmly in the refrigerator, rooting around. “Did you throw Richard’s yogurt?”

“Uh, yes?” Jeff said, he voice going up like it was a question. “Was that OK?”

Sharon pulled her head out of the refrigerator and smiled sadly, “Yes. I’m glad you did. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it.”

“Mom?” Jeff asked. “I’m sorry I never really got to know him very well.” At once, Jeff realized what he was saying was true. Sharon had only been dating Richard for a few months when he left Stoneybrook, and after that he only saw him for a few weeks during the summer and every Christmas. Since he’d been home, he’d gotten to know Mary Anne well, and he was having pangs of having missed an opportunity to do the same with his stepfather.

Sharon smiled sadly, “You would have liked him. He wasn’t Mr. Fun-loving like your dad, but he was so kind. He was pretty quiet at first, but once you got to know him, his sense of humor was a lot like yours Jeff, very dry.”

“Tell me more,” Jeff asked quietly.

Sharon sat across from him at the table and began talking. Jeff got to know, a little late but better than nothing at all, his stepfather.

By the time they had finished talking, it was getting late, and Jeff decided to just make grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. He decided to sleep on it, on everything his mother had said.

Maybe there was a right decision somewhere in his brain.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

By Thursday, Jeff hadn't made a decision about whether to stay in Stoneybrook or return to California. Everything his mom had said was true, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she'd been correct.

But that didn't change the fact that Byron hadn't called him. He hadn't spoken to Byron since he'd stomped out of Jeff's house four days earlier. It made Jeff feel a little pathetic to admit that he missed the company. They usually had lunch together at least one day a week, and hung out for the next hour and a half while Sophie and baby Henry had their naps. But this week, Jeff didn't call, assuming Byron would not be amenable to lunch.

Jeff had to work an evening shift in the store on Thursday night, a night which he noted would mark one week since his big drunken mistake. He got into the store at four o'clock in the afternoon and walked through the main part of the store to the Fixit Geeks section, located in the rear corner where the computers were sold.

"Hey," he called to Eduardo, who was busy behind the counter screwing open a CPU that looked to be about eight years old. Jeff inwardly rolled his eyes, hoping Eduardo would counsel the customer to purchase a new one.

"Hey, Jeff," Eduardo said, not looking up from his work. "A friend of yours stopped by a few minutes ago. He's browsing now, said he'd come back at four."

"Who was it?" Jeff asked.

Eduardo shrugged and finally looked up from the computer, "Uh," he said scanning the store. "That's him, playing the Wii."

Jeff turned and looked. It was Jerry.

"Shit," Jeff said and scooted into the office, hiding his face. "Eduardo, when he comes back, tell him I called in sick, will you?"

Eduardo smiled crookedly and peeked his head around the corner. "Boy problems?"

"One problem, not many problems. And that guy is it."

Eduardo saluted, "Will do, Captain."

Jeff rolled his eyes. Eduardo was his boss, but Jeff found it too easy to boss him around instead, and Eduardo seemed to almost enjoy being told what to do. Jeff started sorting paperwork on the desk, work that should have been done by the Manager while Jeff did the work of fixing the ancient desktop, but Eduardo was happy enough to let Jeff do it.

Not three minutes went by when Jeff heard Jerry's voice at the desk, "Jeff Schafer come in yet?"

"Nah," Eduardo said, loudly enough so Jeff could hear in the office. It made him sound false, like he was reading lines for a play for the first time. "Jeff called in sick today."

Jeff heard Jerry mumble something but he couldn't decipher it. He did hear Eduardo say, "Sorry."

A couple minutes later, Eduardo peeked his head in the office, "He's gone."

"Did you see him walk out the door?"

"Yep. Saw him get into a car parked in the handicapped spot too."

Jeff shook his head, "What a dick."

"I know, right? My grandma Gomez needs those spots. I hate when people are parked in them." Eduardo looked out to make sure there were no customers waiting for them. "Want to tell me what that was about?"

"Not especially."

A brief look of something, maybe hurt or annoyance, Jeff couldn't tell, crossed over Eduardo's face. So Jeff lightened the mood, "No offense," he said jovially. "I don't exactly come out smelling like roses in this situation. I wouldn't want to ruin your high opinion of me."

Eduardo laughed, and held up his hands in surrender, "All right, all right. I thought we were bros, but if you want to hide things from your bro..."

Jeff had to stifle a smile. He sometimes forgot Eduardo was still in college, and considered his friends 'bros.' Jeff hadn't thought of anyone as a bro since Smitty, and even that was only in college. "You're my bro," Jeff assured Eduardo. "But I really can't stomach talking about him right now."

Eduardo bowed, "As your bro, I understand." Jeff laughed and Eduardo continued, "But as your boss, I'm telling you to get your ass to work." He waved Jeff away, "Let me do the paperwork, you get out there and struggle with that monstrosity."

Jeff stood up, knowing when to toe the line between boss and bro, and got to work on the oldcomputer.

Jeff was on edge for the remainder of his shift, thinking Jerry would come back in. But, of course, it was Thursday, gay night at the bar, so he'd have to be there. At about nine o'clock, Jordan walked in and headed directly for the Fixit Geeks counter.

"Hey," he said to Jeff. "I just wanted to know if you're still coming to poker tomorrow."

"Doubtful," Jeff said. "I think my dis-invitation was heavily implied by Byron."

Jordan bit the inside of his cheek, "I wish you'd reconsider."

"No." Jeff was firm, "It would be, like, crazy uncomfortable."

"Come on," Jordan goaded, "Byron won't stay mad forever."

"Well, he can call me when he gets over it."

"I think you should show up."

"Why is this so important to you?"

Jordan shrugged, "Byron's my brother. And I know he can be totally moody and over-emotional, and it's completely annoying. But he's still my brother and I want him to be happy."

Jeff looked at Jordan like he was insane, "I think it's obvious he's not happy with me."

"But he was," Jordan persisted. "Look, sometimes he just needs a push in the right direction to get over his moodiness. But if you give him all the brooding space he wants, he'll just use that space to brood and never get over it. Never get over himself."

"So you admit he's over-reacting a little bit," Jeff said with sudden realization.

"Well, he wouldn't be Byron if he didn't."

"And you think coming to poker night will make everything good between us?"

"Sure," Jordan said, with forced certainty.  

Jeff sighed, "All right. I'm there."

"Sweet," Jordan said, clearly relieved. He turned to walk out, but quickly turned back around, "Hey listen, maybe this time you can be less obvious about ogling Nick too, huh?"

Jeff blushed. "I make no promises," he said. "Have you seen him?"

"Ew. That's my brother you're talking about."

Jeff smiled and waggled his eyebrows, "See you tomorrow night."

____

 

Jeff walked to the Pike’s house on Slate Street again. He thought getting through an entire poker game with Byron would require a lot of alcohol and he wouldn’t want to have to drive home.

Jeff stood on the front porch for a few moments gathering his courage, before knocking on the door. The door opened and Nick answered it. “Good, you came,” he said quietly, and pulled Jeff in quickly. “Kitchen,” he ordered, pushing Jeff down the hall.

“Sit,” Jordan ordered when Jeff got in the kitchen. Adam handed Jeff a beer as he sat in the seat. He started dealing cards.

“What’s the rush?” Jeff asked, taking a sip of beer.

“Byron’ll be here in a minute and he’s less likely to walk out when he sees you here if we’re ready to play,” Adam explained.

Jeff choked on his beer. “He doesn’t know I’m coming?”

“No,” Jordan answered. “We didn’t tell him. He’s picking up Kyle-”

“Who’s Kyle?” Jeff demanded. Before he could stop it, a wave of jealousy washed over him, with a sudden sinking feeling that Kyle was a new boyfriend.  

“Mallory’s husband,” Nick laughed, “Chill out, Jeff.” Jeff looked sharply at Nick, who was looking back at him with a smirk on his handsome face that said he knew exactly what Jeff had been thinking.

Jeff fiddled with the cards in front of him. Chill out, he thought to himself. God. He needed to chill out, didn’t he? It’s not like he was in _love_ with Byron. Right? _Right,_ Jeff told himself. _Definitely not in love with Byron_.

“They’re here,” Adam said, looking out the kitchen window as a car pulled into the driveway. Adam rushed to his seat, trying to look like he’d been sitting there waiting. When the door opened he shouted out, “Come on, guys! We’re ready to play already.”

“Coming,” Byron huffed. Jeff could hear him taking his coat off and hanging it up in the hall closet.

Kyle came in first. He was a tall, thin guy with pale brown hair and horn-rimmed glasses. He was wearing a Yale tee-shirt and torn jeans. He looked surprised to see Jeff there. “Hi.” he said, extending his hand, “I’m Kyle.”

Jeff shook his hand, “Hi,” he paused, and as Byron walked into the kitchen said, “I’m Jeff.” A look of recognition crossed Kyle’s face.

“Oh, hell no.” Byron said. He turned back down the hall and called out, “Fuck you, guys!”

“Dammit,” Nick said, and followed Byron into the hall, “Byron don’t go. Let’s just play some poker.”

“Why is Jeff here?” Byron wasn’t even bothering to keep his voice down.

“We invited him,” Nick said.

“Why? Why would you do that?”

Jeff listened, a sinking feeling continuing in his stomach. He should have known better than to come along to the game.

“Come on, Byron,” Nick said. “Just give him a chance to-”

“No.” Byron said. “And don’t use that patronizing voice. Don’t turn this into me being unreasonable, when I have every right to be really pissed off.”

“You do,” Nick insisted. “You do. But don’t let that get in the way of hearing a good apology.”

“You’re doing it again,” Byron hissed. “Using that tone of voice. I’m not a fucking child, Nick! You didn’t even think about me when you asked him, did you? You didn’t give a shit what I’d want.”

“It’s just poker,” Nick begged. “We don’t have to talk, let’s just play.”

“I don’t want to play with him,” Byron said shortly. “I’m leaving. One of you can give Kyle a lift home, yeah?”

Jeff stood up and made his way to the hallway toward the front door. “Never mind,” he said, pushing through Byron and Nick. “I’m leaving.”

“Jeff,” Nick said, lamely.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeff shook his head at Nick as he grabbed his jacket off the bench in the foyer, “This wasn’t a good idea.” He tried to make eye contact with Byron, to try and tell him something with his eyes, but Byron was standing still, arms crossed over his chest and looking intently anywhere but toward Jeff.

Jeff sighed and walked out of the house. As he walked down the front porch, he overheard Kyle say through the open window, “I think I missed something. What just happened?”

_________

 

Two months went by without a word from Byron. Jeff was lonely without him. He still talked to Jordan or Nick or Adam occasionally. But the truth is that since he moved back to Stoneybrook, he wasn’t as close to them as he had been with Byron.

He also got the feeling that they felt a little bit traitorous talking to him too often. Knowing that it would go against Byron’s wishes.

He hadn’t ruled out moving back to California. In fact, there were days when the only thing keeping him in Stoneybrook was the reminder that he wouldn’t want to move away with things hanging in the air with Byron. Though, on his more depressed days, Jeff realized things weren’t hanging in the air. Byron hated him and would probably hate him the rest of his life.

He had been hanging out with some people from work though. Eduardo had included Jeff in the group that he hung out with, which included not only most of the Fixit Geek employees, but some people who worked for Electronics Emporium. So he wasn’t lonely, exactly, but he wasn’t exactly not lonely either.

And Jeff could happily go out with the work friends(as long as they didn’t go to the Eagle’s Nest) and have a fine, if not great, time. It could be awkward - Jeff was eight years older than the next oldest in the group, who happened to be Elise. Eduardo, it turned out, had never told Elise that Jeff is gay, and after a couple of nights of her flirting with him, Jeff finally had to break it to her.

Actually, he’d been a little drunk and ended up coming out to the whole group. And if he thought things had been a little uncomfortable after that, he’d at least had enough beers that he didn’t care too much. It couldn’t have been that uncomfortable anyway, because he continued to be invited out to after-work gatherings.

But he missed Byron. Eduardo was nice, and the rest of the people from Electronics Emporium were fine, and not a bad group to hang out with. But they weren’t Byron.

One Friday night after work, they went out to T.G.I.Fridays. Jeff hated chain restaurants. He hated them with a strong passion. But, it was cheap and the decision wasn’t really up to him anyway.

They were a group of seven, grouped around a large table in the bar area of the restaurant. The only vegetarian of the group, Jeff was forced to order gross appetizers as his meal - flash frozen mozzarella sticks and questionably fresh quesadillas. He’d much rather have eaten at Cabbages and Kings, but C&K didn’t serve beer.

On this Friday night, Jeff was joking with Eduardo about something that had happened at work that day when he looked across the room and saw Byron sitting at a table with another man. He stopped in mid-sentence and stared at them. Eduardo waited a few beats and when he realized Jeff wasn’t saying anything further, he followed Jeff’s gaze. “You know one of those guys?”

“Yeah,” Jeff huffed. “The one on the right.” He shouldn’t have been bothered that Byron was on a date, but he was. First of all, Byron hated chain restaurants as much as he did. They’d had conversations about it, and specifically talking about how awful this particular chain was. Second of all, Byron had been the one who said he didn’t want to date anyone while he was unemployed.

And this guy he was with? He was tall and lanky - not even lanky, bony would be a better description. Sandy haired and pale with wire frame glasses that were a good decade out of date. He was wearing an old white t-shirt and baggy jeans. His clothes were ill-fitting, and it’s not like Jeff was a fashion guru. What was a catch like Byron doing with a guy like this?

Jeff continued to stare at them, completely unaware of the conversation happening around him. Finally, Eduardo got his attention, “Dude!” he punched Jeff in the arm.

Jeff jumped, “What?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention,” Eduardo said. “What’re you, in love with that guy?”

That got the attention of the rest of the table, “Ooohhh..who?” Elise asked as they all turned around to scan the room for guys Jeff might be interested in.

“Stop,” Jeff hissed. “C’mon guys. Turn back around.”

“Who is he?” They asked, as they reluctantly turned back to face Jeff.

“He’s….no one.”

Elise made a face, “Of course he’s someone if you’re shouting at us not to stare at him.”

“Fine,” Jeff conceded. “He’s someone. He’s a guy I was friends with and now I’m not.”

“What happened?” Elise pushed. Ever since Jeff had to let her down when she was flirting with him, she tried very hard to be his best pal.

“Nothing.”

“It’s complicated,” Toni said, making sarcastic finger quotes on the word complicated.

Jeff cringed. He’s pretty sure Toni was making fun of him. “It’s not that complicated,” he said. “We were friends. I slept with his ex and now we’re not friends anymore.”

“That’s a shitty thing to do, bro.”

Jeff sighed and pressed his fingers into his closed eyes. “I know. Can we not talk about it anymore? Please?”

The conversation shifted on to something else. Jeff tried to pay attention, but kept one eye on Byron and his date for the next forty-five minutes. Byron never turned his head toward the bar area and spotted Jeff there.

Finally, Jeff saw Byron get up and head towards the men’s room. Without thinking about it, Jeff stood up and headed that way as well.

He walked in the bathroom, and Byron was alone in there, at the urinal farthest from the door. There were three other urinals to choose from, but Jeff chose to ignore proper urinal etiquette and take the one immediately next to Byron.

He noticed Byron jump a little as Jeff stood just a little too near him. Jeff kept his eyes straight ahead but noticed out of his peripheral that Byron glanced at him and recognized him. Jeff didn’t know why he was doing this. Why was he going out of his way to force Byron to see him there, to make Byron uncomfortable.

When Byron finished peeing, he zipped up and muttered, “God, Jeff.” Jeff wasn’t looking, but could hear the eyeroll in Byron’s voice. Byron washed his hands quickly at the sink and hesitated by the door while Jeff finished up.

After Jeff flushed and turned around to the sink, Byron said, “I got a job.”

“Congratulations,” Jeff said as he turned on the water and began to wash his hands. He wanted to ask Byron what job, he wanted to hug Byron, he wanted to do something more than a bland congratulations in a public bathroom.

“Yeah,” Byron nodded. “So this week is my last week watching Mallory’s kids. I start my new job Monday after next.”

“OK,” Jeff said as he pulled a paper towel from the dispenser.

“So maybe Monday you want to come have lunch with me and Sophie and Henry? We can talk after I get them down for a nap.”

“Can’t.” Jeff said. “I work Monday afternoon.”

“Oh.” Byron looked hesitant. He grabbed the door handle, but didn’t pull. Finally he offered, “Tuesday?” in a weak voice.

“Sure,” Jeff nodded. “I can do Tuesday.”

Byron looked incredibly relieved, “Great,” he exhaled loudly. “Great. See you Tuesday then.”

_____

That Monday at work, Jeff was on the road. That meant driving the Fixit-Geeks car to customer’s houses to work on their computers. Jeff was thinking about the woman whose house he’d just been to. She was well into her seventies, maybe even eighty, and was vaguely racist. It wasn’t her first call to Fixit-Geeks and Eduardo had been the last tech to help her. “He was very nice, for a Mexican,” she’d told a stunned Jeff.

When Jeff answered, “He’s from El Salvador,” the woman looked puzzled as though she didn’t know what El Salvador was and how that fact meant Eduardo wasn’t Mexican. She’d been nice enough, even offering him a Diet Coke, but that conversation stuck in his craw for some reason.

As he was sitting at the stop light, with his left turn signal on to turn into the Electronics Emporium parking lot, he was thinking about that woman and wondering whether to tell Eduardo about it. Jeff sighed, this light always took forever.

Finally, he got a green arrow and started turning. He was still thinking about the woman when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t have time to react, but he only just saw the white Audi speeding in the oncoming lane run the red light and slam into the side of his car.

Everything went black. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Babysitters100 on LiveJournal. Prompt: Hospital

Jeff didn’t know where he was. He was lying down and he was in pain and he was very confused. He opened his eyes, but even the dim light made his head hurt.

He tried to talk, “Huuuuhn,” is all he could manage to croak. His throat was scratchy.

“Jeff?” someone next to him asked.

“Huuuuuhn” he answered.

“Jeff, it’s me. It’s mom.”

Jeff opened one eye slightly and saw his mom standing there. He tried to talk again, but only got “Wuh huh,” out. He pressed his lips together, trying to communicate that he was thirsty, but even doing that hurt. There was something wrong with his lips or maybe it was his brain, Jeff couldn’t think straight.

“Here,” Sharon said quietly, “Open your mouth.” Jeff obediently opened his mouth and Sharon swabbed the inside of his mouth with a tiny cold wet sponge on the end of a lollipop stick.

It was such a relief to have his the water in his mouth and he began sucking the water right out of the sponge.

“Can you talk now?”

Jeff ran his tongue around his mouth and was stunned to find a few empty spaces where teeth should have been. “Where am I?” he whispered.

“Stoneybrook General,” Sharon answered. “You were in a car accident. Do you remember it?”

Jeff thought hard, but then realized thinking hard made his head hurt. “I’m tired,” he answered, though he vaguely knew it wasn’t a correct response to what his mom had asked, but he couldn’t quite figure out how to answer her question. Or even really what the question was. He was so confused.

“Go back to sleep,” she said. “I’ll let the nurses know you were awake.”

He fell back to sleep.

___

He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but when he awoke again, his pain was not quite as bad and he was able to open both eyes in a squint. He heard voices talking in hushed tones and he looked around and saw his mother talking quietly with Mary Anne and Nick Pike.

“Hey,” Jeff croaked.

All three stopped talking and turned toward Jeff surprised to see him awake. They crowded around the bed.

“How’re you feeling?” Nick asked.

Jeff was thirsty, but he couldn’t make the words I’m thirsty, come out of his mouth. His mouth wasn’t listening to his brain. After a few moments of trying to get the fog out of his head, he pointed to the rolling table next to the bed and said, “Cup.”

Sharon and Mary Anne exchanged worried glances, but Nick reached over and grabbed the cup with the swab in it and started swabbing Jeff’s mouth with water. “We can probably get you a real cup of water,” he said. “Now that you’re fully awake you can drink for real.”

Mary Anne left to find a cup and bring Jeff some water.

“How do you feel, Jeff?” Nick asked again.

“Hurt,” Jeff answered, grateful that that word came quickly to him.

“What hurts?”

Jeff thought hard. His brain felt mushy and confused, like everything that had been in his mind was jumbled together and he had to pick through it all to find the right words. “All of it.”

“Are you feeling confused?”

“Yes,” Jeff answered, relieved to have a word to put with what he was feeling.

“You have a concussion,” Nick explained. “A pretty bad one, but you had a CAT scan when you were brought in and you don’t have swelling in your brain. You’ll recover but it’ll take a while.”

Jeff pointed to his open mouth, “Teeth,” he said.

“You lost some teeth in the accident,” Sharon said. “We’ll get you to a dentist when you heal.”

Jeff’s face hurt, and he ran his hands over it. He could feel swelling and stitches, mostly on his left side of his face. “Ouch,” he murmured. He’d had to run his right hand over his face, his left arm could barely move.

Mary Anne came back in with a couple of styrofoam cups and a pitcher of water. She poured a small amount in a cup and handed it to Jeff. He took it with trembling hands and just noticed the IV tubes coming from them.

Nick took the water and handed it to Sharon, “You take this,” he instructed, “And I’m going to sit Jeff up a little.”

Nick put his arm around Jeff’s shoulders and heaved him up into a higher sitting position, while Sharon held the cup to Jeff’s lips and tipped it back a little.

The water in his mouth felt amazing and even though he dribbled a little down his front, (he couldn’t quite get his mouth to work right) he lapped up every bit in the cup. “Good,” he said when he was done. As long as he stuck to one word at a time, he seemed to talk all right.

“Do you want to lie back down? Or sit?” Nick asked him.

“Sit,” Jeff said. Now that he was awake, he didn’t want to fall back to sleep so quickly.

Nick fiddled with the bed controller and raised it a little so Jeff was supported in an upright position.

Jeff looked around at the three of them and they looked at him expectantly. He noticed the strained, terrified looks on his mother’s and Mary Anne’s faces. Nick looked professional, but pleased to see Jeff awake. “What happened?” he asked.

“Car accident,” Sharon answered, though Jeff remembered as soon as he asked. “Someone ran a red light and hit you right outside Electronics Emporium.”

“White Audi,” Jeff said, thinking about the last thing he saw before waking up in the hospital.

“Hey!” Nick said. “You remember it. That’s actually great news.”

Sharon and Mary Anne gave a few more details of the accident, how they heard the news (Eduardo had called Sharon before the ambulance even arrived on the scene and she beat the ambulance to the hospital), and Jeff’s diagnoses (Concussion, bruises, a couple of cracked ribs, a fractured left collar bone). And Nick talked about how he was on shift in the ER when Jeff was brought in, and Jeff needed to be sedated because he was confused and became combative with the doctors and nurses.  Jeff started to get tired again, just listening to them.

“Listen,” Nick said. “I’m off the clock and I need to get home. Rest up, Jeff.” He reached out and patted Jeff very lightly on the shoulder of his not-broken collarbone. “I’ll swing by tomorrow before my shift.”

As Jeff closed his eyes and began to drift off, he heard Mary Anne making plans to go home to the boys so Simon could work part of that day, and Jeff vaguely wondered what time it was.

____

 

He woke up again. Each time he awoke, his head seemed a little clearer, though everything still hurt. He looked to the side of his bed and saw his mother asleep in a chair. But from the other side of his bed he heard some paper rustling and turned his head.

Byron was sitting there reading a trashy gossip magazine.

Jeff smiled, “Morning,” he whispered to Byron.

Byron jumped a little and threw the magazine aside. “Jeff, hi.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “It’s evening, actually. I came right from Mallory’s.”

“I was supposed to be there,” Jeff said, suddenly remembering the plans they’d made in the bathroom of Friday’s on Saturday night.

“Yeah, yesterday.” Byron said.

Jeff frowned a little. “I thought-” he shrugged, “I have a concussion, you know.”

“I know,” Byron nodded.

“I’m mixed up. I thought we said Tuesday.”

“You know today’s Wednesday, right?” Byron asked.

Jeff was silent for a moment. This was upsetting news to him, but he wasn’t quite sure why. “What happened to Tuesday?”

He spoke loudly, which not only hurt his head, it woke Sharon up, “Oh Jeff. You’re awake. How do you feel?”

"What happened to Tuesday?”

“You were out,” she explained. “The doctors put you in a drug-induced coma to watch for brain swelling. But a couple of scans showed no swelling, they took you off the meds and let you wake up naturally. That was first thing this morning. Then you slept and woke up again around lunch. Then you slept some more and here we are.”

“A coma?” Jeff asked, he felt incredulous, but the slowness in his brain made the question sound more lethargic.

“A drug-induced one,” Sharon pointed out.

“God,” Jeff settled into his pillow and thought. He had so many feelings, but he couldn’t quite put any of them into words. The idea of having lost a whole day really bothered him. He had to think about what he wanted to ask, how to ask it. “Am I going to be OK?”

“You’ll be fine,” Sharon said. Her voice shook a little, and for the first time, Jeff realized that the last time she’d been in this hospital, her husband had died of a brain aneurysm. “Everything that’s wrong with you will heal,” she added. “The concussion will get better with time. The ribs and the collar bone will heal, your bruises will go away and we’ll get you some nice fake teeth.” She laughed a little as she choked on a sob. “Excuse me,” she got up and went to the bathroom, Jeff was sure it was so they wouldn’t see her cry.

He looked at Byron, who shrugged sympathetically. “Were you here before?”

“Yeah,” Byron blushed a little answering him. “I was here Monday evening and yesterday evening also.”

Jeff was flattered, “How was my mom?”

“Crying a lot,” Byron answered after a moment’s hesitation, as though he didn’t want to put that type of guilt on Jeff. “But I got here about an hour ago this evening and she seemed calmer. You know, you’d been up twice earlier today.”

Jeff nodded, feeling a weight of guilt about the worry he was causing his mother.

“Really though,” Byron said. “How are you feeling?”

“Hurt,” Jeff answered. “Can you get me…” he pointed to the water on the sliding table, not able to make the words “my water” come out of his mouth.

“Oh, yeah,” Byron said and he grabbed the water for Jeff.

Jeff struggled a little to get into a sitting position, which was difficult to do with his shoulder splinted and arm in a sling. “I need to sit,” he said.

Byron looked flustered, but put the water down and helped Jeff into a sitting position. Then he found the bed control and moved it up so Jeff was supported, and handed the water back to Jeff.

Jeff took a sip and felt relief. “Did you get a job?” He needed Byron to do most of the talking. Jeff got too confused too easily to talk too much.

“Oh. It’s at a mortgage lender. I’ll be proofreading mortgage documents. It’ll probably be soul-sucking but the bills will get paid.” Byron leaned back in his chair and smiled sardonically.

Jeff stayed quiet. He was having trouble with his memory and it frustrated him. He couldn’t recall what Byron’s previous job had been, only that he’d been watching Mallory’s kids for some time. That harder he tried to think about what to say, the more his head began to hurt. He simply answered, “Mmmm.”

Byron looked concerned. “Are you confused?” he asked.

Jeff nodded, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Byron said. “The doctor said you might be forgetful or confused for a little while.”

“Really?” Jeff asked. “You were here?”

“Yeah,” Byron answered. “Um, last night I was here when he came in.”

“You were here last night?” Jeff asked. About two seconds after he asked it, he realized that they’d already talked about this a few minutes earlier.

Byron didn’t let it show. He just nodded and answered again. “I came Monday night, last night, and tonight.”

Jeff felt a lump in his throat, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “Flowers?” he asked, pointing to the window sill which had several bouquets.

“You want to know who they’re from?” Byron asked.

Jeff nodded.

Byron got up and took the cards out of four different bouquets and he came and sat back down in his chair. Sharon came out of the bathroom, looking like she’d washed her face and brushed her hair. Byron held up the cards, “Just letting Jeff know who the flowers are from.” He opened the first little envelope, “This says ‘Get well soon. Love, Mary Anne, Simon, Jacob and Joshua.’”

“Aww,” Jeff said.

Byron smiled and opened the next envelope and laughed, “This doesn’t give you an excuse for more shitty poker playing. From Adam and Jordan.”

Jeff laughed, which only made his rib cage ache.

“The big one is from everyone at Electronics Emporium and the Fixit Geek Squad.”

“Mmm.” Jeff smiled, despite the pull of the stitches in his lips.

Byron opened the last envelope. “This is from-” he cut himself off quickly. After a second he started again. “It’s from Marcus,” he held the card out to Jeff, who took it with his good right hand.

_Jeff, I’m sorry to hear about your accident and hope you get well soon. I’m going to be in New York for a wedding this weekend and I want to take the train in to Stoneybrook to see you one afternoon. Give me a call. Love, Marcus._

Jeff swallowed, “When am I going home?” he asked his mom as he handed her Marcus’s note.

Sharon read it and raised her eyebrows. “Tomorrow maybe. They have to get you up and moving and if you can handle it, they’ll let you out tomorrow afternoon.”

“What’s today again?”

Sharon and Byron glanced at each other with worried expressions, “It’s Wednesday,” Sharon reminded Jeff gently. “Okay,” Jeff said, but didn’t say anything else about Marcus’s note.

A while later, a nurse came in to remove Jeff’s catheter - a completely uncomfortable experience - and eventually, she returned to help Jeff to the bathroom.

“You might feel a little dizzy when you stand up,” she explained, as she and Byron helped Jeff sit upright on the edge of the bed.

“I’m dizzy already,” Jeff said. “And my legs feel funny.”

“You’re dizzy because of your concussion, and your legs feel funny because you haven’t been up and moving in over forty eight hours. We can’t let you lie around any longer.” She had Jeff inch forward slowly until his feet were on the ground, and letting Jeff lean heavily on her, and with Byron helping out by pushing the IV pole, he slowly got to his feet.

He did feel dizzy immediately. But concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other to make it to the bathroom. They made it, and Jeff took care of peeing (feeling only a little embarrassed to need Byron to hold him up while he did it).

It was on the way back to the bed when the vertigo got the best of him. He needed someone bigger than the five foot two nurse to help him back, and Byron, being two inches taller than Jeff, was nearly carrying Jeff back to his bed. But Jeff couldn’t stop himself, and was too mentally confused to warn Byron about his extreme nausea.

Once he got back in bed and was lying down and the dizziness died down, he felt bad that he’d vomited all down Byron’s front. He felt bad that an orderly was in his room right now mopping it up, and he felt bad that Sharon changed her plans to go home for the night and was going to spend yet another one at his bedside

He settled into the bed, closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. When another nurse came in to check on him that night, while Sharon was asleep, Jeff asked her if he could borrow her phone. “I need to send one text,” he said. “My phone was broken in my accident.”

The nurse, Sherrise was her name, smiled and handed her old model iPhone over. Jeff typed in Marcus’s number.

_This is Jeff. I’m borrowing a nurse’s phone until I can get a new one with my number. I should be out of the hospital tomorrow. If you want to come see me, it can be Sunday at my mom’s house. I’m too hurt to go anywhere. Reply by email. I can borrow anyone’s phone to check that._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Babysitters100. Prompt is Intrude.

 

Jeff was released to go home Friday morning. His concussion was still causing extreme vertigo when he stood for too long, but as long as he could make it from his bed to the toilet and back by himself, which he could, the doctors didn’t need to keep him in the hospital anymore.

Being in his own bed was amazing. And since Byron didn’t watch Mallory’s kids on Fridays, he was able to spend the entire day with Jeff, leaving Sharon able to go into work.

Jeff was afraid that it would be boring for Byron. Jeff, after all, need to sleep several hours during the day. But if Byron was bored, he never showed it to Jeff.

The television hurt Jeff’s head, and so did looking at a phone for too long. For that matter, so did reading. So he and Byron chatted, and Jeff continued to get confused by things and had some trouble finding words, but Byron patiently repeated himself or waited for Jeff to find the words he needed.

At one point, Jeff told Byron he’d bought a new book on his Kindle and asked Byron to read it. “You want me to read out loud to you?” Byron asked.

“Mmm-hmm,” Jeff answered. “Mary Anne told me I should read...this guy…” Jeff couldn’t remember the author’s name.

Byron scrolled to the newest download, “Kurt Vonnegut?” he asked.

“Yeah. So whatever book of his that’s there. Can you read it to me?”

Byron looked amused but he agreed. He opened the book on the Kindle and cleared his throat, “Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut.  Or, Goodbye Blue Monday.”

Jeff settled into his pillow and closed his eyes. Byron began reading the book. A few minutes into it, Jeff opened one eye and interrupted, “By,” he said.

Byron looked up from the Kindle, “yeah?”

“Lay with me.”

“What now?”

“Lay next to me while you read.”

“Why?”

“Dunno,” Jeff shrugged. “It feels like you’re a nurse, sitting in a chair next to me.”

Byron hesitated, “This is weird,” he confessed.

“Just do it.”

“Fine.” Byron kicked off his shoes as Jeff scooted over in the bed. It was cozy and Jeff felt only marginally guilty that he used his injury and Byron’s pity to get Byron into bed with him. “This all right?” he asked.

“Mmm-hmm,” Jeff nodded. He kept his eyes closed. “Keep reading.”

Byron paused for a moment before he picked up where he’d left off in the book. Jeff listened, but was having trouble concentrating. Instead he lay there, soaking in the feel of having Byron in bed next to him.

At some point, Jeff drifted off to sleep, but Byron didn’t want to wake him up so he stayed in bed and kept reading silently to himself. And then he, too, fell asleep.

Sharon got home from work and smiled to see Byron’s car in the driveway. She liked Byron, and while she would never push Jeff into something he didn’t want, she hoped that if anything good came from this week, it would be Byron and Jeff getting together. The house was silent as she walked in. She climbed the stairs and peeked into Jeff’s room. She saw Byron, asleep on his back with Jeff’s Kindle dangling precariously from his hand over the edge of the bed, and Jeff sleeping curled on his side, his legs pressed heavily into Byron’s.

______

 

Byron came over Saturday and spent the afternoon with Jeff, who was still mostly bed-ridden. And he came over Sunday too, when Jeff had decided he’d had enough of his bedroom and insisted on hanging out in the living room.

Sunday was different though. Jeff was agitated and quiet. Byron tried to get him involved in conversation, but he gave short, moody one word answers. The third time Byron asked if he was OK, Jeff even snapped at him. Byron looked stung, but Jeff couldn’t be bothered to care.

Jeff, for his part, couldn’t exactly put his finger on why he was acting this way. It had something to do with Marcus, he was sure of it. Marcus was supposed to come after lunch and visit Jeff. He’d emailed Jeff the night before and he was very clear that he wasn’t going to be able to stay long.

And Jeff wasn’t even sure if that’s what was bothering him - that Marcus couldn’t (or wouldn’t?) stay for long. Because Jeff didn’t know what to expect from this visit. What was Marcus’s intention in trying to see him? Pity after hearing about the accident? Just a friendly visit? Something more than friendly?

Maybe that’s what was pissing Jeff off. That it had been ten months since he’d last seen Marcus, and he’d finally gotten over him. And even the idea of having to see him again was making him feel like getting back together was a possibility. And thinking of that possibility completely stressed Jeff out. Because he was no longer denying (to himself anyway) his true feelings for Byron. But as the same time, he couldn’t deny all the history and the love between him and Marcus. And a small part of Jeff thought that maybe if Marcus wanted to get back together, picking up and moving back to California would be the best thing.

But Jeff hated even thinking of it at all, first of all because he was pretty sure Marcus didn’t want to get back together and he was getting way ahead of himself by even entertaining the thought. Second of all, he was still concussed and trying to do any amount of heavy thinking got him confused, and when he’d get too confused, he’d get frustrated and wind up with another headache.

“Do you want me to keep reading to you?” Byron asked, after a long silence.

Jeff shrugged, “Sure.”

Byron looked like he wanted to argue, or yell at Jeff for his shitty attitude, but instead sighed as he started up the steps to grab Jeff’s Kindle. He wasn’t about to argue with an injured man.

Byron continued reading the book and, as he’d done the two previous days, Jeff eventually nodded off. He awoke a short time later to find Marcus sitting in a chair next to him and Byron standing in the doorway openly scowling at the both of them.

“Hey,” Marcus said. He had a concerned look on his face as he gazed down at a just-woken and confused Jeff. “Your mom and your friend,” Marcus gestured toward Byron, who smiled tightly, “let me in.”

“Oh,” Jeff said. “Give me a minute.”  Jeff tended to wake up in a confused state and it took him several moments to remember why Marcus was there and that he’d been expecting him.

Jeff looked at Marcus. He looked good. As handsome and well-dressed as ever. He’d given in to the early-balding genes and had shaved his head, Michael Jordan style. Jeff didn’t know if it was the concussion or his already foul mood, but he found himself annoyed that Marcus was even there. Marcus’ mere presence felt like an intrusion on Jeff’s new life in Stoneybrook.

“I’m going to head out, Jeff,” Byron said.

“Uh…” Jeff didn’t really want Byron to go, but was still grasping with being woken up. “OK. See you tomorrow.”

“No,” Byron corrected. “I start my new job tomorrow, remember?”

“Oh right,” Jeff nodded. “Good luck. Call me and let me know how it went, yeah?”

Byron paused to glance at Marcus before answering, “Yeah. Sure.” Even without a concussion, Jeff was sure he wouldn’t have been able to read Byron’s emotions.

Jeff and Marcus were silent until they heard the door slam as Byron left. “So,” Marcus began. “How are you feeling?”

“How do I look?” Jeff asked.

Marcus hesitated. “Honestly? You look awful.” He searched Jeff’s face sadly, noting the stitches, the bruising, and the missing teeth.

“I have a concussion,” Jeff said. “It makes me confused sometimes.” He liked to warn people of that, and just this morning Byron reminded him that he already knew - that he’d seen Jeff each of the last several days.

“I heard,” Marcus said. “Your friend told me before I woke you up.” Marcus paused, “Your friend? Boyfriend?”

Jeff shrugged, not wanting to get into it with Marcus. “I have a headache all the time,” he continued, answering Marcus’s question about how he was feeling instead of his answer about who Byron was to him. “I also broke my collarbone and some ribs, and my back constantly aches.”

Marcus frowned, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. Is insurance taking care of everything?”

Jeff smiled a little. Marcus was always one to worry about the practical things. “Yes. I have an open claim with the other guy’s insurance. They’re covering my medical. I was in a company car and at work, so I’m getting worker’s comp.”

Marcus looked relieved, “Everything that’s wrong...it’ll heal, right?”

“Yeah,” Jeff nodded. “You worried?”

Marcus looked a little chagrined. “Yes. I wasn’t sure about coming to see you anyway this weekend, but when I heard about the accident, I thought I definitely should.”

“Oh. So if I hadn’t been nearly killed and spent a day in a coma you would have been a train ride away from me but not taken the time to see me?”

Marcus shifted uncomfortably before answering honestly, “I don’t know. I hadn’t decided.”

Jeff shrugged and looked away. “Well. That doesn’t surprise me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marcus asked curiously.

“You moved only a few miles away from me when you left,” Jeff accused. “But when I got laid off and when my stepdad died, you didn’t bother to contact me.”

“I know,” Marcus said quietly. “I was afraid….I was afraid I’d feel sorry for you and would end up getting back together out of pity or something.”

“But now?”

“Getting back together isn’t an option,” Marcus explained flatly. “I’m seeing someone.”

Jeff tried to analyze his feelings for a moment. On one hand, given the opportunity, he’d get together with Byron so he couldn’t exactly be angry (or even annoyed) with Marcus. But on the other hand, Jeff was feeling very….replaceable. Finally he asked, “Anyone I know?”

“No,” Marcus shook his head. “He’s the cousin of a co-worker who set us up on a blind date a few months ago.”

Jeff thought briefly of Eduardo’s cousin Nelson, whom Eduardo had offered to set him up with those months ago. It might have been an interesting parallel that he and Marcus were in the same position and Marcus chose to go out on the date and Jeff chose not to.

Jeff must have been quiet for a long time, because Marcus asked, “You all right?”

“Yeah,” Jeff said. “I’m happy for you.”

Jeff might have been confused, and might not have been great at reading faces, but he thought Marcus looked pleased at Jeff’s response. Jeff wanted to be angry, and he wanted to care more that Marcus was seeing someone else. He wanted to stare at Marcus and remember that it had been less than a year since Marcus had made him feel like his heart was being ripped right out of his chest and stomped on.

But he just….he didn’t. He didn’t have it in him to care that much. He still had a lot of, maybe not love exactly, but definitely fondness for Marcus. They’d had a lot of good years together before things had grown bad and Jeff knew that was just as much his fault as Marcus’s. But that didn’t take away the good and it didn’t make him want to wish and ill will on Marcus.

They changed the subjects to their families. Marcus asked about Jacob and Joshua and admitted he still kept in occasional touch with Mary Anne, which is how he found out about the accident in the first place. Marcus told Jeff that his mom constantly asks about him, and to expect a birthday present from her the following week on his thirty-first birthday.

It was nice and it was friendly. But, as promised, Marcus stayed barely more than an hour and when it was up, he had to leave to get back to the train station. Jeff reflected on their visit and he decided that while it was fine that Marcus had come, he really would have preferred to spend the entire day with Byron. Maybe he could have gotten Byron to lay in bed with him a second time. 


	14. Chapter 14

Over the next couple weeks, Jeff didn’t see Byron. They texted a lot, but Byron’s job and apartment were both in Stamford and getting to Stoneybrook to see Jeff after work would have been too much driving. Then the weekend after Marcus’ visit, Byron was busy all weekend because Vanessa was getting married.

Jeff didn’t know if Byron was intentionally keeping his distance -  he never asked what happened with Marcus’s visit, or if this cooling off was all in his head. Because he couldn’t deny anymore that his feelings for Byron were stronger than mere friendship.

Eduardo came to see Jeff a couple times in those two weeks. He came on a personal level. They didn’t talk about work except for Jeff telling him he hadn’t been cleared to return to work yet. While his symptoms were better every day, he continued to have bouts of vertigo when standing for too long.

Jeff, realizing he had no guy friends who weren’t Byron or one of Byron’s brothers, told Eduardo a little bit about Byron and about Marcus’s visit. It was strange, Jeff hadn’t had a guy friend to talk about things with since Smitty when he was in college.

Eduardo had some sage advice, “Don’t be a pussy and just ask Byron out already.” Jeff thought maybe it was a more delicate situation, what with him wanting to preserve a friendship with Byron, but Eduardo just scoffed at that. “Byron hated that your ex was here to see you. Someone who thought you were just a friend wouldn’t have hated that.”

Jeff couldn’t deny, Eduardo had a point there.

Thursday evening, Jeff got a text from Byron. “Want to hang out tomorrow after work?”

Jeff replied, “Yes. Can we go somewhere? I’m going stir-crazy.”

It took about three second for Byron to reply. “I’ll pick you up at 6. Claire’s out of town, you can come to my place and I’ll make us dinner.”

Jeff smiled. Dinner? A date? Maybe?

_____

 

When Byron rang the bell, Sharon answered the door and showed him into the living room. Jeff was lying on the couch after a dizzy spell, but he looked up and smiled at Byron. “Look,” he pointed to his mouth.

“You got teeth!” Byron said.

“They’re temporary,” Jeff said, “My brain needs to be better to get real ones.”

“Better than a gaping hole,” Byron said, laughing and turning away as Jeff used his tongue to remove the dentures.

“Listen,” Sharon interrupted. “Jeff’s had a long day. Even a trip to the dentist really took it out of him and he didn’t get much of a chance to nap.”

“Jesus, Mom,” Jeff groaned “I’m not a kid!”

She frowned at Jeff a little, “I just worry.” Byron laughed behind his hands.

As Jeff and Byron left the house, Jeff said “Sorry. That’s kind of why I needed to get out of there.”

Byron smiled, “It’s OK. It’s sweet she’s so worried.”

They slid into the car and buckled up. “So really.” Byron said. “How’re you feeling?”

Jeff told him a little about how he’d been since they’d last seen each other. That his collarbone and ribs were healing nicely, he’d gotten the two dozen stitches on his face taken out, and his mind was clearer and he was able to follow a conversation mostly without confusion anymore. But still, the vertigo.

Byron talked a little about his job. It sounded boring, but Jeff could tell Byron was happy to be bored and employed. Maybe being employed had boosted Byron’s self-esteem, because he seemed more cheerful and sighed far less than Jeff was used to.

They got to Byron’s apartment, where Byron had to help Jeff up the short flight of stairs after another dizzy spell. Byron’s face showed clear concern, but realizing Jeff was sick and tired of being fussed over, didn’t say anything about it.

“You lay down,” Byron pointed to the couch. “I’ll start dinner.”

There was an opening in the wall between the living room and kitchen so they could talk to each other. “What’re you making?” Jeff called in.

“Spaghetti,” Byron answered. “I chopped up a salad before work this morning.”

“Mmm,” Jeff said. “I hope it has something crunchy in it so I can use my new teeth.”

Byron laughed, “Well, I think I Claire has some croutons around here. I’ll make sure to put some on your salad.”

When they sat down at the dining room table to eat, Jeff said, “Thanks for having me over.”

“I thought you’d need a break from your mom.”

“My mom’s great and all but….yeah,” he nodded. “Enough is enough.”

They ate silently for a few more minutes. “Are we ever going to talk about it?” Jeff finally asked. “The big Jerry Haney shaped elephant in the room?”

Byron looked up sharply, his blue eyes piercing Jeff. “I don’t know. I was thinking we could carefully avoid the topic forever.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“Oh no,” Byron laughed. “It’s probably a terrible idea, but I don’t think talking about it will be very pleasant either.”

“Hmmm,” Jeff said thoughtfully as he took a bite of pasta. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m very sorry.”

“I know you are. And I forgive you.”

“And,” Jeff continued, “I’m wondering if you would have been so forgiving if I hadn’t gotten a brain injury in a car accident.”

“What do you mean?” Byron continued to twirl his spaghetti.

“We were supposed to get together the day I was in the accident, right? If I’d come over to have lunch with you, would you have forgiven me as easily as you just did?”

Byron shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I like to think I would have, but I maybe would have made you grovel a little more.”

“You don’t want me to grovel now?” Jeff joked.

Byron looked at Jeff seriously. “I thought you were going to _die_ ,” he answered, tears welled up in his eyes and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I thought we lost you, and it gave me a little perspective, all right? Suddenly you hooking up with Jerry seemed really unimportant. You’d already apologized, and you were sincere and contrite but I wasn’t ready to hear it. So, while you were in a coma, I forgave you.”

“You forgave me,” Jeff answered, smiling.

“Yes,” Byron nodded. “So when I say we don’t need to talk about Jerry Haney, I mean it.”

Jeff put down his fork and smiled at Byron. “What?” Byron asked self-consciously.

Jeff opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. After a few moments thought, he threw caution to the wind and leaned over and planted a kiss right on Byron’s mouth.

He didn’t intend to make it last, really his plan had been to make it a little more than a peck, but Byron pulled him in by the back of the head and leaned forward and deepened the kiss for several moments. It was soft and warm, and it made Jeff’s heart skip a few beats.

“Well,” Jeff said with a smile as he sat back. He fiddled with his fork.

Byron took a bite of his food and smiled widely at Jeff.

Later that evening, Byron and Jeff sat down to watch a movie, but not even halfway through, Jeff began yawning. “Sorry,” he said. “It was a long day. You know I went to the dentist and missed my nap.”

Byron laughed a little. “I could drive you home, or-” he broke off for a second. “Or you could just stay the night here.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows in Byron’s direction, and Byron blushed a little. “I mean, it’s a half hour back to Stoneybrook. Then a half hour back here for me, that’s like an hour in the car.”

Jeff smiled, “I don’t have pajamas.”

Byron didn’t see the problem with that at all, but he just said, “Well, I could lend you some.”

Jeff thought a moment. “Yeah. I know it’s early, probably way earlier than you want to go to bed, but do you mind?”

“No,” Byron said quickly. “Let’s get ready.” Byron bustled around finding Jeff a spare toothbrush and a pair of pajama pants that didn’t exactly fit - Byron is slightly taller than Jeff - but would work.

Byron crawled into bed with Jeff. “You don’t need to go to bed yet,” Jeff said. “It’s only like nine thirty. I just can’t stay up late since the accident.”

“Can I lay with you while you fall asleep?” Byron asked.

“You want to?” Jeff asked, laying on his side to face Byron.

“Sure.” Byron scooted himself a little closer to Jeff and rested his hand gently on Jeff’s hip. “Is this OK?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Jeff smiled and closed his eyes. “I’m not going to have sex with you.”

“What?” Byron asked, chuckling. “I know. You’re tired and you need sleep. And we can take this, whatever this is, slow.”

Jeff opened one eye. “No, I mean I can’t sleep with you tonight. I get vertigo whenever I, you know,” he made a jerking off motion.

Byron raised one eyebrow. “You get vertigo when you come?”

“Yeah,” Jeff blushed a little. “I just tried it again this afternoon, and it happened again. I mentioned it to the neurologist two days ago. He said it was part of post-concussion syndrome.”

“Huh.” Byron said thoughtfully. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t decide what to say to that.

“It’ll get better,” Jeff said. “The doctor said in a few weeks.”

“So until then we can just…” Byron scooted even closer to Jeff and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “We can just.”

They kissed again for a few minutes before Jeff pulled back. “I’m really about to fall asleep.”

“Good night,” Byron said, climbing out of bed. He planted one more kiss on top of Jeff’s head, turned the light out and shut the door. Jeff was asleep before the door was even shut all the way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Byron get ready to play poker with Byron's brothers and have to decide whether or not to tell them they're together.

Jeff was standing in front of the bathroom mirror in Byron’s bathroom and he was shaving. It was the first time he was attempting a real shave since his accident. First he’d had the stitches along the left side of his face, then the scarring when they were removed was tender. He’d only been using a beard trimmer. But now, more than two months since his accident, he felt ready for a real shave.

Byron was sitting on the closed toilet seat watching Jeff lather up. “I’m kind of dreading tonight,” he admitted. “Adam, Jordan and Nick are going to be awful.”

Jeff looked sideways at Byron and smiled, “Of course they are,” he said. “They told us months ago that we should get together.”  It had been two months since Jeff and Byron first kissed that night at dinner and less than a month since they’d been sleeping together. And they hadn’t yet told Byron’s brothers about it yet. Claire knew, because Jeff spent a few nights a week at Byron’s.

Tonight was the first poker game Jeff was going to since his accident. “If you don’t want to tell them tonight we can keep it platonic in front of them,” Jeff offered.

“I should have told them earlier,” Byron admitted. “They could have gotten all the jokes out of the way in time for tonight.”

“No they wouldn’t have.”

Byron laughed a little, “You’re right.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “We’re in for it.

“I know,” Jeff said. “I hope you’re worth it.”  Byron met his eyes in the mirror and Jeff winked at him as he swiped the razor up his cheek.

Byron smiled back at Jeff’s reflection. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “They’ll find out eventually.”

“Maybe we’ll just see if it works itself into the conversation.” Jeff suggested.

“Yeah,” Byron nodded.

“Guys?” Claire knocked on the door? “I need to shower before I go out tonight.”

“In a minute,” Byron and Jeff called out at the same time. They grinned at each other. Claire was getting ready to move to New York in a few weeks. Byron was going to stay on the lease, and he and Jeff had carefully avoided the topic of moving in together. If they were being honest, they both wanted to. But it couldn’t be denied that they had only been together for two months, and for about half that time, Jeff was still injured enough that he needed caring for. They’d only recently gotten out of the habit of Byron trying to do everything for Jeff. It didn’t help that Jeff’s doctor didn’t clear him to drive or return to work until two weeks earlier. Neither was sure they were ready for a commitment like living together.

Jeff finished shaving and let Claire in the bathroom. He and Byron walked out of the apartment, “You want to drive?” Byron asked.

“Yeah,” Jeff said gratefully. He’d gotten a little out of practice. He also knew Byron would probably want to drink tonight. Jeff was still too worried about his brain to want to add alcohol to it.

He and Byron slid into Sharon’s Prius, Jeff wondering as always when his mother was going to ask for her car back. They made their way from Byron’s apartment in Stamford to Stoneybrook to the Pike’s parents house.

“We’re here!” Byron called as they opened the door.

“Jeff!” Jordan said, jogging to the front door. “How’re you feeling?”

“Much better,” he answered, accepting friendly handshake/punch on the arm from Adam. Kyle, Mallory’s husband, hovered nearby.

Nick came to the foyer carrying a beer. He enveloped Jeff in a big hug. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said happily.

“Glad to be here.” Jeff answered.

“Come on in.”

Byron and Jeff followed the other guys into the kitchen, where the poker table had been set up over the kitchen table. “Beer’s in the fridge,” Jordan said.

Byron grabbed one for himself, and took out a can of ginger ale for Jeff. “No drinking for me yet,” Jeff said sadly.

They chatted and drank for a few minutes before situating themselves around the table, Jeff and Byron carefully situated themselves with Nick in between them.

Before play started, Nick stood up, “Here Byron, switch places with me,” he said.

“Why?” Byron asked, standing to switch with Nick.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep the two lovebirds separated,” he said slyly, smirking between Jeff and Byron.

Jeff glanced at Byron. If Byron had wanted to deny it, the bright red blush on his cheeks would have made it obvious. “How’d you know?” Byron asked.

“What?” Jordan and Adam shouted at once, as Nick laughed, “I knew it!”

“ _What?_ ” Adam demanded. “How did Nick know about this and we didn’t?”

“I knew because I saw Jeff’s mom at the store a few days ago and I asked how he was doing and she kind of laughed and was like, ‘Oh ask Byron. I’ve barely seen Jeff he’s been spending so much time with Byron,’ So I pushed her a little and figured out that you two’ve been sneaking around for like two months!” Nick looked gleeful at having gotten the news first.

“Since your accident?” Jordan demanded.

“Since, yeah,” Jeff admitted glancing at Byron. “Since shortly after the accident.”

“Well.” Jeff said, glancing again at Byron and shrugging. “I guess there’s no secrets here.”

“Switch places with me,” Nick urged Byron again. “You two should sit next to each other.”

“Oh!” Jordan said, “Jeff you should just sit on Byron’s lap.” Adam cracked up.

“That won’t be necessary,” Byron said weakly.

But Jeff decided to get this out of the way. If they wanted to tease them, fine. But he was going to give them something to tease about. Jeff plopped himself right down on Byron’s lap.

“Jeff,” Byron laughed, shoving him a little.

“Awww, how adorable!” Adam said, in a weird high pitched voice. “When’s the wedding?”

“I don’t know,” Byron said rolling his eyes. “When are you going to find a girl and stay with her long enough to even think about a wedding?”

“Don’t turn this around on me,” Adam said. “This is about you and Jeff and why you guys didn’t tell us that you were together.”

“Really?” Byron asked. “You give me nothing but shit when you do find out then you wonder why we didn’t want to tell you?”

Everyone laughed at that. “We give you shit about everything,” Adam said. “This shouldn’t be any different.”

“You got that right,” Byron murmured.

“What’d you want anyway?” Jeff asked, still sitting on Byron’s lap. “A formal letter? An email? A photo of our first kiss?”

“I called you twice specifically to ask about Jeff after he was let out of the hospital,” Nick pointed out. “You didn’t say a damn thing to me.”

Jeff glanced back at Byron, who was looking rather put-upon. “I asked him not to say anything,” Jeff said.

“Huh?”

Jeff shrugged. “I felt weird. Like you’d think, this” he waved his hand around at the group, “would change if two of the people here were sleeping together.” He slid off Byron’s lap and into the seat next to him.

That seemed to subdue Adam, Jordan and Nick. “Okay,” Nick said. “Fair enough. Nothing changes though, right?”

“Right,” Jeff agreed.

“Yeah,” Byron sighed. “Can we just play some poker?”

____

 

A few hours later, Byron and Jeff were the last ones there. They were cleaning up the kitchen together. “That wasn’t too bad,” Jeff said.

Byron smiled. “It could have been worse. Thanks for taking the blame for us not saying anything.”

Jeff shrugged. “I knew they’d give me way less shit about it than you.”

“They’re assholes,” Byron said.

“Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “But they’re OK.”

“I know,” Byron said. “Lots of other gay guys have much bigger problems with their brothers than I have. They’re actually really amazing. It’s just, you know, they’re amazing assholes.”

Jeff laughed as he leaned Byron into the counter for a long kiss. “Are your parents coming home tonight?” He asked as he rolled his hips into Byron’s.

“Nope,” Byron said. “They’re at the lakehouse until tomorrow.”

“Well,” Jeff said, kissing Byron again, “Maybe we should just stay here tonight? Instead of driving back to Stamford, or staying at my mom’s place.”

“I could get laid in my childhood bedroom,” Byron said answered. His arms were around Jeff’s waist, running his thumbs up and down Jeff’s spine.

“You don’t still have bunkbeds up there, do you?” Jeff laughed.

Byron snickered, “No. My parents got rid of those about two seconds after we left home.”

“Come on, then.” Jeff pulled Byron by the hand and led him upstairs.

Byron smiled and followed. Honestly? He’d follow Jeff anywhere.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading! This initially started out as my Nanowrimo 2012 piece, though I only managed about 12k words that year. I let it sit for a while, but even though I have several unfinished WIPs at any given time (most of which will NEVER be done), leaving this one unfinished really bothered me. So I slogged through and actually managed to cobble together this story, which isn't the best work in the Byron/Jeff fandom, but you know. It's always nice to have another Byron/Jeff story. I hope you all liked it.


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